Leave [Jikook ff] ✅

Part 21

Jungkook's POV

Man, this is awkward.

I just had a wet dream and got a boner about this boy and suddenly poof, he's inside my room.

What should I say?

"I'm going to tell my mom about us after we got home today, I hope you'll do it too" Jimin spoke up, eyes flickered up to me for a second before they were diverted to somewhere else again.

Both our parents knew that we were dating since the beginning and had given us the full support as they were close friends since we were babies.

We could keep the news on our break up from them since we were away from home the whole year last year, but it's only a matter of time before our moms found out that we had broke apart as they observed our awkwardness with each other.

"Y-Yeah, I'll do it" agreeing to his request, I couldn't imagine what mom would do to me after I told her.

Maybe I'd got smacked with her vacuum.

Or chased out of the house?

The reason of our break up started with me after all.

And mom doted Jimin just like he's her son. Even more than she loved me sometimes.

"Uh, how have you been?" filling in the awkward silence, I asked for his well-being, which was kind of only adding to the awkwardness even more. Jimin opted to sit on my gaming chair, which seemed too big for him once he was properly seated.

"Fine, nothing much" he answered curt, and awkward silence again filled the environment. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, I sat on the edge of the bed where it was the closest to where Jimin's sitting.

"Jimin," I called out, hands on each of my kneecap, nervous to start the topic.

"Hmm?" Jimin intertwined his fingers on his lap and pulled them closer to his stomach, showing that he knew what's to come as I called for his name.

"I'm sorry. For all the things I've done," I apologized shakily, voice only enough to reach Jimin’s ear and I knew he heard it as I saw his fingers tightened around each other.

"I was really hurt, Jungkook. I felt so alone even when you're sitting by my side. It felt so torturous when only your body was there with me but your mind was with someone else," Jimin let out his thoughts, and I hated how I was the reason he had the frown on his face right now.

"I know, Jimin. Shit, I really do know a little of how much it hurts to feel left out, to be abandoned, to be ignored. I felt it when I saw you with the other boys. It hurts so much seeing you happy without me," I brushed my hair with my fingers, also frowning at the past.

"So, I'm not even allowed to be happy without you now?" Jimin commented, and I widened my eyes a little, shocked at his misinterpretation of my words.

"No, baby. That's not what I mean," I stood up, taking a step closer to the boy.

"Don't call me that. I'm not yours anymore, Jungkook" Jimin said with hurt voice, and I felt stabbed as I saw his eyes glistened.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. It kind of just slipped my mouth. What I mean is that, it hurts that I couldn't be part of your happiness anymore, but I know well I don't deserve to be by your side when I was the one to left you in the first place," explaining myself with gentle tone, I let Jimin calmed down himself a little to accept my reasoning.

The silence between us was filled with unsaid questions, but soon it was broken by Jimin’s shaky voice.

"How far...h-how far did you go with that girl while we're still together?" his question made a sick twist to my stomach and I braved myself to kneel down in front of him.

Looking up to see his face, I knew it took a lot of courage from the smaller boy to ask that question, since a tear had dropped from his eyes as he looked at me.

My mouth dried up, but his begging eyes left me no space to lie to him, even though I knew I'd hurt him more after Jimin came to know the truth.

"I - I slept with her," dropping my eyes to my hands, I sat defeated on the floor as I was too afraid to see Jimin's reaction.

His breath hitched as he heard my answer and I heard Jimin muffled his sobs with his hands, making my tears trailed down my cheeks as well.

Fuck, I messed up.

I really messed up big time.

All of a sudden I didn't feel like I was worth to be forgiven at all.

I shouldn't even apologized in the first place.

Fuck, what have I done to Jimin?

Why am I so stupid at that time?

Fuck.