Old Secrets (part 1)

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*TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of serious topics such as, s*lf h*rm, depression, ect. also swearing*

*IMPORTANT A/N AT THE END*

"You know, we should go to that old store we would always go to." 16 year old Lonnie had said to her girlfriend. "Oh yea?" 16 year old Catra said as she laid between Lonnie's legs.

"Yea..I think it would be fun, a little date perhaps~" Lonnie teased as she played with Catra's hair. Catra giggled and go up, "Race you there then." Catra took off running.

"CATRA WAIT!" Lonnie squealed as she tried catching up to her girlfriend.

——-

"I'm not gonna pressure you, you know?"

17 year old Catra said softly as she laid in her bed with 17 year old Lonnie beside her. "It's your decision, I know you probably don't like being next to all those nerds. Wait..What if I don't go."

Lonnie sat up quickly, "What? Catra no you can't do that. You've worked up to this, you're so close." Catra sat up and gave Lonnie a soft smile as she grabbed her hand, "Babe, I know. But.. we probably have our whole lives ahead of us. So who cares if I don't go to Etheria College? As long as I'm with you, that's where I'll be happy."

Lonnie looked at Catra and smiled, "Catra, no. How about...I go with you." Catra looked confused, "But..how? You never applied and college is in less than three months."

Lonnie smiled wide and pulled a piece of paper, "How about.." She showed Catra the paper, "I did, and I got in!" Catra smiled wide, "NO WAY! THERE'S NO WAY!" Catra tackled Lonnie as they both laughed, "I can't believe it! We're going to the same college together!"

Lonnie sat up and finished laughing, "This is everything we hoped for..We can do this, together." Catra sat up and smiled, "Yea together." Catra leaned in and kissed her.

———-

"Are you fucken serious,Lonnie? How could you!"

"Face it, Catra. We were never gonna have a future together!"

"Oh so you had to go and lie ? Telling me you were going on a family trip? Instead I find out you had a secret boyfriend this whole time?!" Catra said in anger as she held her phone to her ear trying not to break it all in one piece.

"My mom would have killed me if she found out I was dating you! What did you expect me to do?" Lonnie said on the other line.

Catra scoffed, "Thats bullshit Lonnie and you know it! You told your mom you're bi not long ago, don't even tell me that she didn't accept you because I saw the whole thing with my own two eyes!"

"Fine Catra. You know what? I was never interested in you. I never was. You were just this little distraction."

Catra paced around and stopped, "You're kidding me, right? Being with someone for three years isn't a distraction! You know what? Fine. I could give a single fuck about you anyways!" Catra hung up and dropped on the floor and cried.

Three years..completely wasted. Lonnie helped Catra through everything, not just when they were dating but even when they were friends.

Lonnie was there to stop Catra from self harming when she found out about it, she helped her along the way to find other methods to cure her depression. Lonnie helped Catra stay one year clean. Lonnie helped Catra stay rebellious, kind, and most importantly happy.

Not only that but Lonnie helped Catra get into therapy for her alcohol addiction she developed too along the way.

Lonnie helped her through it all.

Catra sobbed and sobbed feeling completely alone. Then she stopped a bit and looked up at the mirror in front of her. Can I really do this all on my own? Catra thought to herself. Can I really trust anyone at this point? Am I all alone now?

Most importantly, Can I trust myself?

Catra looked at her desk and then back at her arms. She thought about something she hasn't thought for a while. Then she shook it off.

No. Because without Lonnie I can still keep my head held high. Catra thought as she got up and went to her desk. Without Lonnie, I still have my friends I can trust. Catra opened the drawer and grabbed the little razor from a secret box and held it up.
Without Lonnie, I'm not completely alone.
Catra went to her bathroom and picked up the toilet seat and looked at the razor one last time. Without Lonnie..

Catra threw the razor in the toilet and flushed it down.

I know for a fact, that I can trust myself.

🌈A/N IMPORTANT:

Hi i know this was a really touchy subject but I want you guys to know that if you go through any of these things, whether it's self harm, depression, ect. Just know that you AREN'T ALONE, there's light on the other side of the dark part of the tunnel, and YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS! If you ever feel alone, I'm here. You can talk to me if you'd like. I'm here to listen to you no matter what. I've been through these things, I've been clean for almost at least a year. I know it's hard, I know there's temptations, but YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS!! YOU ARE LOVED! You are SO LOVED! There's people here to support you even if you feel like no one is here to support you. I support you! DON'T GIVE UP!! YOU ARE LOVED!! Feel free to talk to me whenever you like, If you want someone to listen to you ❤️

🌈Until next time

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