EMBERS • HAECHAN (Not Finished Yet)

Chapter 24

Sunghee's point of view

"I heard Lee Donghyuck joined your boxing club," Yeeun said as she sat down at the breakfast table.

Carefully she placed her plate before she started to eat, looking at me with interest.

"Yes, unfortunately," I mumbled, a bit bugged at the mere thought of having to share my safe place with him.

"I only hope he doesn't bother me and the other girls or else I'll hit him in the head with a baseball bat in my closet."

I smiled a little at the idea, but that smile instantly vanished when the girl in front of me shook her head disappointed.
It's a look I had't seen in a while.

"It's good that you're taking care of your classmates, but I hope you can control yourself," she now gave me a serious look, to which I now reacted somewhat stunned.

"Why do you tell me this all the time? I'm not a killing machine or anything, you know that very well," I laughed sarcastically and tried to cover up the fact that I was actually a little hurt by having to hear this one sentence over and over again.

I knew myself, I knew that I was one of the most caring members of our gang.
The well-being of others always came first for me and I would do everything in my power to protect them.

That is why I've been trying to become stronger over the last two years.

I wanted to be someone who people wouldn't have to worry about.
I wanted to become someone I needed when I was younger.

Instead of being weak and helpless, I wanted to be the person who could knock down any door...
Even if it meant getting more than just mere burn marks...

"Nobody's saying that", Yeeun brought me back to the present, her expression softening a bit.

"The only problem is that over the years you have begun to dignify violence... In the past, you would have reconsidered your decisions at least once before taking action. Today, you do not even hesitate to let your fists fly. You are impulsive and sometimes irrational."

I stared at her, somewhat off guard.

To be honest, I had no idea how to respond. The rest of the girls at the dining table had been quiet for quite some time and had listened attentively to the words of their leader.
According to their facial expressions, the other 14 shared the same opinion as she did.

"I - that's not true!", I stuttered energetically as I felt the many pitiful looks like a second skin stuck to my own body.

My disappointment grew with every second.

"I have myself very well under control", I became more and more angry, the small fire in my heart flickering brightly.

"That's exactly what I mean," Yeeun sighed clearly dissatisfied and drove her hand through her short, almost white hair.

"People only try to talk to you, but you immediately become defensive. I made you the second-in-command back then for a reason, you should act appropriate again."

"I... I want to... I just don't want to be as weak as... as I was the day my mother died." My voice cracked and was about to turn into a bitter sob as an unspeakable silence filled the room.

The whole situation felt as if the staring eyes of the others were piercing my body like hundreds of needles, while the lump in my throat grew bigger and tears started to form in my eyes.

I couldn't destinguish my own feelings- was it anger, insecurity, grief?

I didn'tt understand why I was suddenly exposed in front of everyone.
Had I done something wrong? Was it wrong that I wanted to be strong?

I wanted to start talking again but Yeeun interrupted me at the same moment.

"There is a big difference between strength and violence, you should realize that.
I do not forbid any of you anything, but that doesn't mean that you should act arbitrarily. The worst case scenario is that the identity of DRGNS could be revealed and that would be fatal for us."

Hissing, I looked to the side and tried to control my emotions as best I could.

I knew that I could act impulsively from time to time, but that wasn't the norm, was it?
I had not chosen these feelings.
I'm not the same person I was before the tragic event.

"I'm leaving," I said with my lips pressed together and stood up with clenched fists.

"We also know that you're having nightmares again," it came like a gunshot and caused me to stop mid action.

"Until they disappear again, Jihyo will take over your position."

These words hit me harder than any insult or punch ever could and I clawed my fingernails painfully into my own palms.
I didn't dare to make eye contact with one of the girls and instead I walked out of the room with quick steps.

Were they right? Maybe they were...

But even if they were, right now, my pride was too big for my own good.

So that was the last chapter for today😋 hope you stay tuned for the next one

Also, did y'all hear Rejuns cover song?
Oh boy... hearing him swear hit me hard😵😂 didn't know I needed it hahaha

Anyway, have a great day guys😋💚