Her Guardian Angel | Completed ✔

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓯 ?

Ahira's pov.

"No, you didn't. Just so you know Ahira, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You can never make my life miserable and even if you do, then I'll accept it happily because I love you" More tears flowed down as an impact of his words.

What did I do to deserve him? I killed his baby. It was all my fault and everyone knows it but all they are saying is that it was not.

But I know I killed my own child. I killed my unborn baby because of my stupidity.

No words were exchanged between us after. It was just our heartbeats and breaths, making us feel each other's presence and to be honest it was calming. As if every breath and every rhythm of his heartbeat took away my grief, healing me and giving me comfort.

But I know he is hurt from inside. He is acting all strong but he is hurting too and I am the reason behind it. I am making him suffer.

Hundreds of negative thoughts jumbled up my mind. Everything seemed dark and dull, as if there was no light to brighten my dark life. My eyes closed on its own engulfing the darkness.

★★★★★★

I opened my eyes to find Azlaan seated beside me, holding my hands firmly in his. I looked around and noticed that it's been night and I guess everyone was already back.

"Are you alright?" I heard his concerned voice.

"I'm fine" I said and got up. Not giving him a chance to say anything further, I strode towards the bathroom. Closing the door, I slid down and cried. Cried and cried until my heart was at ease. Until I felt the pain ease.

Washing my face and tying my hair in a messy bun, I headed down stairs and saw everyone seated at the dining table ready to start the dinner.

Mom smiled at me politely. The room was awfully quiet as we all continued our meal.

"Why aren't you eating anything Ahira? " Mom frowned at me.

"I don't feel like eating" I said politely and got up, heading to my room. I sat in the balcony grieving over the fact that they all love me so much to not blame me. And what did I do? Kill their grandchild, nephew, child.

I looked up at the glistening stars. It was as if the stars were trying to tell me that there is life ahead, that I should stop grieving and let the past go. That I have Azlaan with me who will stand by me, no matter what.

Feeling a presence behind me, I turned to see Azlaan standing at the balcony doorway with a plate of food. Ignoring the fact that it was for me, I turned back around and got busy admiring the stars.

"Starving is not an option" He started.

"Eat something Ahira, for me" His eyes filled with something unpredictable, something that I couldn't name, nor can anyone else. His eyes held so many emotions, yet nothing could be named.

Everything hidden behind his beautiful smile.

On its own accord I opened my mouth letting him feed me. Every morsel filled with promise and love for forever.

"Call Ayesha over, maybe you will feel better sharing things with her" He said kissing my forehead and went out of the room.

★★★★★

"Wasn't I supposed to be preparing a cradle for my baby? Weren't me and Azlaan supposed to be happy, like going for baby shopping? " I asked turning towards Ayesha who was looking at me with a sympathetic smile which I hated.

"Don't stress Ahira, your baby is in a better place, yeah? It's not like this was the ending. There is more to your life. It's not like you can't get pregnant, right? Be happy Ahira. That is what you deserve" She said taking my hand into hers.

"I know you are cursing yourself for whatever happened but it was not your fault. In fact it was no one's fault. This was what was written. Thus was fated" She said,and indeed she had a point to make.

I should not grieve over what has happened. I can't snatch happiness from Azlaan. Seeing me like this will do no good to him.

But I need time.

"I know you need time. Take it all you want but be ok soon" She said. I let out a heavy breath before I smile at her, making her reciprocate my action.

We talked, basically she did the talking part and I listened. After some time she went to her home while I sat there in the same place with so many emotions messing around my mind.

Sadness for not being able to hold my baby. How many dreams had we seen, how many things were planned but everything came crashing down overnight and when I opened my eyes, I was told that I lost my child. That I lost mine and Azlaan's first symbol of love.

Grief for losing an innocent soul who had a life ahead but it's unlucky mother killed it. If I say it out loud, then people will be like 'it wasn't a baby yet' of course it wasn't but I developed a connection with my unborn child, something that only a mother could feel.

Shock being one of them. How one minute I was enjoying everything around me and the next minute every ounce of happiness crumbled to pieces.

Failure for I failed as a mother, as a wife and as a woman. I couldn't protect my child who I thought was safe in my womb, then how could I have protected him from this evil world. I failed as a wife by snatching Azlaan's happiness. I don't know whether I am right or wrong in this. I still remember him saying that he was happy as long as I was fine. He said I meant more to him than our unborn baby. He didn't deserve this.

In these five months, I felt as if something inside me changed. I felt completed. But now all of a sudden I am feeling empty. It's as if I am not a complete woman without my baby. With himself he took half of me.

Fear being the biggest of all emotions. I know I can get pregnant again and be happy again but I fear it. What if I go through a miscarriage again? What if my happiness is gone again?

This was so hard to write 😭
Now i want many votes and comments!!! I literally took a whole to research and write this chapter!!
Because i have no idea how a miscarriage feels.

Happy reading📖