Defenceless l.s

Thirty Two

Louis started the shower and quickly stripped out of his clothes before stepping in and closing the glass door around him, though it barely did anything to prevent the water from spreading all across the bathroom floor as the silicone strap at the bottom had detached long ago. The hot water sprayed over him and dripped down his body. The scratches on his arms and stomach burned as the water hit him. He closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards, letting the water hit his face as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. 

The hot water fogged up the room but Louis was still shivering. He leaned back against the wall and shuddered as the cool tiles touched his skin. Closing his eyes, Louis let his mind drift off to somewhere else, somewhere far away from here where he could just be happy, where he wouldn't let Liam down every single day, where he could be friends with Zayn and Niall and still maintain his relationship, where he wouldn't have to lie constantly to make sure his boyfriend didn't find out how he betrayed his trust. Slowly, Louis slid down the wall, wrapping his tiny arms around his legs as he soaked up the warmth the water provided and got completely lost in this far away world. He rested his head against the wall and thought about everything that could have been if he didn't constantly mess everything up. 

In this world everything was perfect, Liam and Zayn were best friends and would always have a little bit of banter, but they didn't get there without struggle. No. At first they hated each other, just like they do now, but they eventually looked passed it for Louis' sake and managed to become best friends, which only made their friendship stronger. They obviously weren't planning on telling Louis any of this, they didn't want him to feel guilty for anything. So he just pretended that he didn't know a thing.

Sometimes they would go on double dates with Zayn and girlfriend . . . Darcy, no Freya. No, Louis just realized there was a girl in his high school called Freya and she was a bitch so Zayn couldn't date her. Her name would be . . . Layla! Yes Layla, Louis really liked that name and could definitely picture Zayn with a Layla. She was pretty short and blonde, a little like Chole. She was witty, and always made sassy remarks like he used to do when he was younger . . . and she always wore her hair in a ponytail. They would go to The Olive Garden together and have a perfect evening together, and afterwards Louis and Layla would go for drinks and gossip about their boyfriends.

He would tell her how annoying it was that Liam always left his socks on the floor, but that was alright because he would always make up for it. And then Layla would ask how and Louis would blush with a stupid smile on his face and she would chuckle and eventually the water ran cold making him tremble where he sat. Louis reluctantly opened his eyes and slowly stood up, steadying himself on the wall as he felt incredibly dizzy all of a sudden.

He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, realizing he didn't even wash himself  though that was never the intention anyway. He wrapped a towel around his waist and put on Liam's hoodie before unlocking the door. He padded down the hallway and into the kitchen, the only light source being the street lights glowing through the window. He noticed the kettle sitting on the stove, breafly concidering making himself a cup off tea but decided against it because he was just to fucking exhausted. He wanted to crawl into their bed and sleep in Liam's arms, he realized that that's pretty much all he wanted lately, but he didn't mind, it's not like he had much else to do. He went  into the living room looking for Liam. He found him on the couch with his phone in his hands, typing away on something.

Louis walked around the couch and gently sat down at the end of the couch by Liams feet. He pulled the hood over his head and leaned against the armrest. Liam looked up from his phone, "what took you so long?" He asked, sounding quite annoyed. Louis turned to look at him before averting his gaze back to the wall, "I don't know" he answered quietly. Liam shot him an annoyed glare, "you didn't even cook, what have you been doing all this time?" He asked. 

Louis' eyes widened when he realized his mistake, he quickly turned his head to look at Liam who seemed quite mad at this point. "Oh my God! I completely forgot! I'll do it now-" he started as he hastily got up, but Liam cut him off with a sigh, "no it's fine, I had some of the fish from yesterday," he explained. Louis stood by the kitchen door not really sure on what to do, was Liam mad at him? He hesitantly took a step towards Liam, pulling at his sleeves. 

Liam got up and walked over to where Louis was standing, fiddling with his fingers. Liam nudged his chin with his finger, making him look up from where his eyes were glued on the floor. Liam let out a little sigh when he saw the look on his face, he leaned down and gently placed a kiss on his lips. Louis closed his eyes and kissed back when he felt Liam start moving his lips. Smiling, Louis let out a happy sigh, this was good, he wasn't mad. He placed his hand on Louis' neck as he slowly deepened the kiss, the other one resting on his cheek.

He slowly started moving his hands as the kiss got more heated, eventually  he moved his hand down to Louis' waist, making him immediately stiffen on the spot, he broke the kiss and looked up at Liam who did not seem to take any notice. He moved on to kiss down his neck, making Louis tilt his head to the side while he brought up his hands to place on Liam's chest. He pushed gently as he felt Liams tug at his sweater, Louis felt a panic raise in him, there was no way Liam could see him like this! He couldn't bear the thought of Liam being completely compelled by him, Louis tried pushing at his chest again but Liam just let out an annoyed groan before pulling back. 

Without wasting a moment he pulled the hoodie over his head, Louis' eyes widened in shock and he immediately wrapped his arms around his stomach, trying to cover himself up somehow. But it didn't work, not when Liam removed his arms and his hands started to hungrily roam his body. Louis was frozen on the spot, not knowing what to do, and even if he did he couldn't do anything. He couldn't move; he just stood there breathing loudly through his mouth as Liam's hands settled on his lower back and waist, still mouthing on his neck. Eventually Liam pulled back once again with a grunt. 

He looked at Louis, eyes scanning over his body and he wanted to scream, to run away and hide and never show his face here again. He couldn't believe this was happening, he felt his throat clog but he couldn't get a word out. There was no way for him to get put off this without making Liam mad, he thought as his mind raced for an answer. He came to the conclusion that this was better that upsetting Liam right now cause he just didn't have the energy to fight. Liam grinned at him with satisfaction before grabbing his arm and dragged him away to their bedroom.