Ana said that she was my friend
Ana said that she would be there to the end
That she was the answer
Little did I know, that she stays with you like cancer
Ana told me that I could be small
So I agreed and put up with it all
It was a big price to pay
But I did not want the fat on my body to stay
I did what she said
I stopped eating, soon the thought was out of my head
Ana said that I could enjoy food
If I met her friend Mia, that she would not be rude
I ate, and ate, and ate again
Stuck two fingers down my throat, not caring where or when
My mother heard me with Mia one day
"Back to starving again." I say
So I deprive myself of food once again
I write my feelings on paper using a pen
My body is tiny, my eyes are dull
It's been a long time since I've felt full
My skin is pale, my hair is dry
I always look into the mirror and cry
Who is this girl that I have become?
I did something dumb, now I feel numb
I took away my food, took away my health
I know now that I am not myself
I don't even know her anymore, all I know is that I'm only a shell
I have made my life a living hell
If only I accepted the way I looked
But I stopped eating, now I'm hooked
My body is frail, I am close to death
I lay down, close my eyes, and take my last breath
If you ever meet Ana one day
Please promise me you won't let her stay.
YOU ARE READING
The Darkness Is Swallowing Me
PoetryA collection of my poems that I wrote about depression, self harm, suicide, and life.