Penguin and pals do stupid shit but it's a chatroom

I couldnt think of a witty chapter name

So this is was never supposed to happen and it really doesn't make sense, I completely fucked up everyone's characters but I wanted to post it because why the hell not. I used weird ass scenes from keeping up with the kardashians for some fucking reason
Read at you're own risk I guess

Penguin has created a chatroom

Penguin has added Incog-Neat-O

Penguin: omg

Penguin: omg omg omg

Penguin: I've just been ARRESTED

Neat-0: lllllmmmmaaaaaaooooo
You don't understand how hard I'm laughing right now

Neat-0: I sound like the squeaky toy from toy story
Aw shit lemme get Emma

Penguin: I went to the yaoi stor- I mean the mall with my friends
to pick up merch and y'know, new clothes

Penguin : and then goddamn All fucking Might popped out from behind a mannequin like it gave birth to him and scared the British out of me

Neat-0: is that why you said mall instead of shopping centre

Penguin: Dawg stfu

Penguin : anyway I got frightened and threw my cup of tea at him and now the police arrested me

Penguin: you guys I can't go to jail :(

Neat-0: this is even funnier than that time you got high in the corner

Penguin: one, that was your fault for writing me like that and two, we don't talk about that incident

Neat-0: YOU MEAN TEH EPIC WEED?!

Penguin: we don't say that name

Neat-0: hold on, I'll add Emma
She'll understand, like that time she found us on the darker side of archive of our own

Penguin : I am still deeply traumatised by that experience

Neat-0: well it was your fucking idea to google it, despite the warnings

Penguin: I didn't know what the word meant ok, and they were more like guidelines than rules

Neat-0 has added EmmaSmoke

Emma: what is it, I'm busy reading erotic fanficti- I mean updating my stories

Emma: wait

Penguin: it's been 7 fucking minutes why isn't she responding

Neat-0: I think she's trying to process it without causing 1st degree murder

Penguin: oh, I guess we can't have a repeat of last time

Emma : HOW.COULD.THIS.HAPPEN?!

Neat-0: now Emma, you know that's a loaded question

Penguin: it wasn't my fault!

Neat-0: lmao this is so stupid

Penguin: this isn't funny!

Neat-0: like there's penguin in a store, throwing shit at anime characters, when she's supposed to be shopping

Penguin: did you just call tea shit?!
DON'T BE FUCKING RUDE

Emma: BOTH OF YOU CALM DOWN

Emma: Neat-0 DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT

Emma: PENGUIN SHOW SOME RESTRAINT, THIS IS THE REAL WORLD NOT ATTACK ON FUCKING TITAN, YOU CAN'T RANDOMLY ATTACK PEOPLE

Neat-0: but didn't you-

Emma: hush child

Neat-0: hey, what do you think of this meme? Good enough to post to the gram?

Emma: NEAT-O STOP SEARCHING UP JOJO MEMES, YOUR SISTER IS GOING TO JAIL, HAVE A LITTLE COMPASSION

Emma: memes good btw

Penguin: seriously

Neat-0: cool thanks

Neat-0: cute jeans btw

Emma: your cute jeans

Neat-0: those are my jeans?

Emma: no

Neat-0: you just said so tho, you said your jeans

Emma: I did

Neat-0: so it's mine?

Emma: no

Neat-0: then why did you do it?

Emma: YOU. ARE . CUTE. JEANS

Neat-0: firstly it's you're, and saying you are cute jeans is the dumbest shit ever

Neat-0: not as dumb as penguin getting arrested, but still

Penguin: pleasde stip talking ot me

Neat-0: I wasn't

Emma: wait, how do you have your phone?

Penguin: i use dmy poswers of plot convenience

Neat-0: can you stop crying for a moment and then text us properly

Emma: so, what actually happened?

Penguin: well, you see-

Emma: penguin, please tell me you're not experimenting with those old Russian poisons again

Neat-0: we don't say that name in this household

Penguin: I only paralysed you for a week, Neat-0, you need to let that go

Penguin: and no

Emma: i see, did you get overly excited at an anime and accidentally stab someone?

Penguin: that was one time!

Neat-0: aw, but it's my job to start wars

Penguin: why do I hear the soviet national anthem...?

Neat-0: I think you mean, boss music

Emma: I guess I should be deeply concerned about you, but I'm to busy playing totally not pirated animal crossing

Emma: I'm still disappointed in both of you

Penguin: hey, it was a traumatising experience okay? I'm still not over the death of-

Neat-0: spoilers

Emma: don't worry, I'm coming down to the station now to see if we can bail you out with my get out of jail free monopoly card

Penguin: thanks

Penguin has left the chat

Neat-0: what if we can't get her out?

Emma: then break her out

Penguin has rejoined the chat

Penguin: hey guys, no need to be in a big time rush

Emma: you're staring directly into camera aren't you

Neat-0: phew, all's well that ends well!

Emma: I can't believe you've done this

Emma has left the chat