Infatuation | Bucky Barnes

Chapter Eleven

James had woken up a while before Catherine did and he took the moment of peacefulness to just watch her sleep. One arm was buried under her pillow. The other was laid across her stomach. In a flash inside his head, he realized how much she looked like her mother. He remembered he barely even looked at the woman before he killed her, but the image would forever be burned into his mind. She had the same sharp nose, full mouth and eye shape. Although, her coloring came from her father.

He reached out to gently brush a strand of bronzy hair from her face. He regretted it when she stirred. He wanted her to sleep for as long as she could. A sleepy smile spread onto her face when she saw James still in bed next to her. The blanket only covered his lower half, leaving his torso bare. She gently rested her hand against his chest, feeling the heartbeat.

"Morning." She mumbled happily.

"Sleep well?" He asked before gently kissing her.

"Very." She paused. "Can I tell you about my dream I had last night?"

"Was it a good dream?" He asked as he got out of the bed to start the process of getting ready. They had a flight to catch back to Russia and if they were late, who knows what would happen.

"I think so. It was...about us. We lived in a farm. At least I think it was a farm. I've never seen one before. I've only read about them. We were sitting on a blanket in the front yard watching our kids run around. We had three kids and a dog. We were so happy and...free." She explained.

James felt guilt rise in him as she explained her dream to him. She would never experience any of those things because of him.

"It was the opposite of the base. Warm. Sunlight. Grass. Fresh air." She paused. "We could leave, you know? They trained us to be invisible. We could run far from here. Create a farm."

"They would find us, Catherine." He didn't want to shatter her dream, but he also needed her to be realistic. He glanced over at her still laying in the bed and noticed how disappointed she look. He leaned over to her and buried his hand in her hair. "If there was a way...."

"I know." She whispered.

Catherine didn't want to return to the base. She didn't want to face reality. She didn't know what was going to happen between James and her. Perhaps Karpov would allow them to have a relationship if it didn't interfere with their jobs. She doubted it though. The only relationship he allowed was the one between him and her mother. It was complicated and part of her was kicking herself for allowing last night to happen.

It still didn't stop her from intertwining her fingers with his as they rode the elevator down to the lobby. From there, a car that James had requested would take them to the airport. He didn't move away when he felt the contact. He allowed her to have the moment. The minute they stepped back into Siberia, they would have to stop. He still had a few hours with her though. He allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder and steal kisses during the flight. One person asked if they were on their honeymoon and Catherine had lied and said yes.

The air was bitterly cold as they pulled up to the base. She knew it would be, but for some reason it seemed even more chilled than usual. They had to drop the facade the moment James pulled the car into the garage. Catherine had a plan. She would mention that she had feelings for James to Ana first to see how she reacted. If she thought it was okay, then she would speak to Karpov. She was still nervous as well. She didn't want them to forbid her from seeing him.

Catherine should have known something was wrong the moment they arrived. Two guards stood inside the garage waiting for them. That never happened. She thought perhaps that Karpov just wanted a debrief as soon as they arrived?

"Follow us." One of them said in a stern voice.

Something was definitely wrong. She tried her best not to look at James. She didn't want to give any indication that something was going on. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him staring straight ahead, but his hands were clenched in fists. They went through a door Catherine had never been in before. In fact, only a small amount of people were allowed in the section of the base they were being taken to. She was not one of those people.

It was large room with a high ceiling. It felt like the coldest room in the whole base. A line of computers lined one side of the room where Hydra members sat motionless. In the center of the room was a chair with strange looking devices attached to it. She could see arm braces opened on the armrest. Standing behind the chair was Karpov. She glanced at James who had an almost green tint to his face. What the hell was going on?

Karpov nodded to one of the men sitting at the desk and a video appeared on the screen. It took her a minute for her eyes to fixate and then realize what she was staring at. It was James and her from last night. Her blood ran cold. Her heart began to pound against her chest. They had been caught or set up, she didn't know which scenario at the moment. No one said anything. She turned to look at James who looked even sick.

"W-What's going on?" Catherine asked him. "Did you know?"

"Don't speak." Karpov spat at James and then turned to look at her. "He didn't know. I figured something was going on between the two of you. I just needed confirmation."

"So you filmed us?" Catherine yelled. She immediately regretted her words. She had never yelled at anyone before, much less the person who helped raise her.

Karpov turned to Artem. "Prep him and start over. I want every memory of her wiped from his mind. She needs to watch. If she doesn't, then do the same thing to her."

"No!" James screamed. Four guards ran to his side and wrapped their hands around him. They knew what he was capable of. Catherine watched with wide eyes as they drug him to the chair and began to strap him down. She didn't understand what was going on. Everything seemed to blur together, but based on the look on James' face, he knew.

She wanted to run to him and beat the hell out of the men who were holding him down. She took one step forward and then she was surrounded by the guards. One of them grabbed her head and forced her to keep her eyes on James.

He wanted to fight, but the fighting made it worse. It always did. He didn't want them to wipe him again. He didn't want to lose every memory of Catherine he ever had. He didn't want to know what they would make him do to her after he was wiped. He wasn't going to let them have total control in the moment.

"Catherine, don't fight them. It'll only make it worse. It's going to be okay, I promise." He told her before they shoved the mouthpiece into his mouth. He could already feel his body reacting. The muscles were cramping. His heart was pounding. Then came the pain.

James' screams engulfed the room. She had never heard sounds like that emit from him before. She wanted to cover her ears to block the noise out, but she couldn't. She could see the anguish written all over his face as they erased every part of her from him. She didn't notice at first, but tears streamed down her face as she watched. Eventually, he went quiet. They removed the restraints and he sat up with a dead look on his face.

"Солдат (soldier)," Karpov spoke firmly to him and then his eyes adverted to Catherine. "Привлекать. (Engage.)"

Catherine barely had any time to react as James stood from the chair and began to walk to her. The men who were holding her in place let go of her and moved to the side of the room. She didn't even fight him as he wrapped a metal hand around her throat and threw her against the wall. There was no point. Maybe he would kill her and she would be free. More tears streamed down her face and she found the courage to look into his cold, blue eyes.

"I love you." She managed before everything went black.