Loving Lakyn | ✓

[48] I Want You

L O V I N G
L A K Y N

THIS MORNING WAS just another morning in the boring and depressive cycle that is my life. I awoke superiorly early, feeling just as dead and empty as most days. I stayed in Lakyn's shirt, purposely avoiding all objects which accommodate a reflective surface. Lakyn stayed in bed. He actually slept in for once and considering how sleepless he is, I let him. 

I made the risqué move of turning my phone on, considering that I had nothing else to do. Lakyn, Marley, and the television are my only sources of entertainment, but two of those three things are dead asleep upstairs, and I already took the courtesy of scrolling through Netflix on Lakyn's smart TV and, as I had predicted, I found nothing interesting.

So, on went my phone, and in came all the messages flooding through. Countless missed calls clogged my voicemail, out of pure laziness, I chose not to listen to them. Next were the text messages of which were mainly from Hale and Eden, expressing their worries and how dearly they miss me. I replied with a small paragraph, letting them know that I am alive and well.

Blaire sent me a few too, not as many as I had envisioned, but that was a good thing. Considering that Blaire is practically the queen of all things gossip and rumor related, I thought that she would have been all over the passing of my mother. Not in a cruel way, but in an obsessive way. Needing to know each and every little detail as she does. But instead her messages consisted of asking where I have been the past two weeks, if I am okay, where Lakyn is as well, and asking if I am still her friend.

Her constant need for reassurance is infuriating. I understand that she requires a lot, but sometimes it is too much. The world is a wreaking havoc right now far beyond Dayton Lakes and the residencies little problems, Blaire should waist more oxygen protesting for the black lives matter movement or assassinating the president rather than worrying about me not wanting to be her friend anymore. Though that is just a personal opinion, besides, someone needs to take one for the team.

My point is, I have been her friend since the first grade, before she lost her mother and almost all sources of wealth. I am aware that money is not everything, but I have provided more than enough to her and still, that reassurance is not enough. I really just do not get it.

I suppose she is insecure now that our friend group has expanded slightly. Other than her, I never had anyone except for Hale and Lakyn was not a problem back then. But now, I have Truman, Hale, Eden, and Lakyn, more than ever.

We have not caught up properly in a long time, so I have no idea whether her open relationship with Keira and Conner. . .or whatever it is that they have going on.

It makes me wonder, though. Do I need more friends? It seems as though my two core friends—Eden and Hale, of course—are also friends with each other, not to mention with Lakyn as well, which is not a problem by any means, but our tight knit group is something that I have always been comfortable with and I find myself wondering if I should expand or not.

Blaire is downright toxic, but she is barely around anymore, so I ignore it, besides in a matter of months I will be far away from here and her life then becomes her problem only. Truman is great, but he is a social butterfly that hovers from group to group, so we are nothing more than friends that share a few classes together and sit together at lunch every few days.

And for the other two, god, I adore them to death, but maybe I should find someone else more like me. Someone with the same goals, the same passions. Eden is—and always will—be my number one, alongside Hale, but in so many aspects, we are the complete opposite, and as stated earlier, we have no one else accept each other.