COBRA 13 // harry styles

twenty-one

Andrea Castro

I had rubbed at my puffy eyes all day, hoping that it wasn't obvious as to how distraught I've felt.  It's only been two days and I still feel the same emptiness I felt the day I walked out of his car. My mind was consistently thinking of him and my body craved his touch. I thought that just maybe I could pick up my keys and drive to his house, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

He had begged me to get out, but the look in his eyes proved that he was fighting a battle within himself to let me stay. He didn't want to let me go just yet, and the feeling was very mutual. My heart has ached and just the idea of him would make my stomach churn. I was feeling hopeless, hopeless in a world that he was no longer in.

I cursed at myself for ever letting myself get so close to him. I wouldn't be feeling this way if we had stayed away from one another and just remained acquaintances. As I look back at it now, I am a little grateful that we had met. I had found out so many of the secrets that were lurking within my family, and I found out who my father really was. It was as if Harry was a blessing in disguise, no matter how fucked up the situation had become. 

I tried to blink away the tears that were starting to form in the crinkles of my eyes as I hastily finished packing my bag to go back to my apartment. I hated having to act like everything was fine and it shook me that after everything, I had to go back to my normal life. I didn't want to keep quiet, I didn't care about the reputation of me or my family. My father was a horrible man and having to hide that secret was tearing me apart. I had to keep silent, for mine and Harry's sake. 

I shut the door of my bedroom door, hearing my mother down the hall in the kitchen. My chest got heavy at the fact that I haven't seen her in a while. I've been hiding away in my room, trying to avoid any interaction with anyone. I hated letting people see me so weak, and I refused to let my family be the first ones to see. My feet slowly took me to the kitchen as I watched my mother fix up a cup of coffee for herself. My breathing was slow and quiet but she quickly whipped her head towards me, a bright smile erupting on her mouth.

"There you are, I haven't seen you in ages and when you get back from a friend's, you lock yourself up! Silly girl, here have some coffee," My mother chimed in a high voice, sliding a cup of coffee towards me as I quietly took it, bringing the hot cup up to my lips. I watched her warily at how calm and happy she had made herself out to be. She didn't know a single thing, and it irked the shit out of me. 

"Mom, are you not worried where dad is?" I questioned with curiosity, the thought of it makes my stomach nauseous as I tried to hold back a face of disgust. My mother waved me off, a small laugh echoing throughout the kitchen as she laughed at me.

"I can't say I'm surprised he decided to leave for a bit, no worries," She laughed, as she took a big gulp of her coffee. I furrowed my eyebrows at her, surprised that she had not thought for one second that my father went missing, and is most definitely dead. 

"I doubt you want him to come back anyways, you've been having fun with your secret boyfriends," I chuckled with annoyance as her eyes grew wide at me and she set her coffee back onto the countertop. I didn't want to hold anything back and it seemed I didn't have a filter when those words escaped my lips. I was no longer upset at the fact that she had been cheating on my sad excuse for a father. I had grown annoyed with her for not divorcing my father sooner, and for keeping it from her kids.

"Excuse me?" She bit back at me with anger radiating off of her. I smirked and tried to hold back the condescending words I wanted to spit at her. I was sick of pretending that everything was normal, this wasn't normal, every part of my family and my life has completely been fucked up and I'm tired of acting like it was a life full of happiness when it was far from it.