Love Doesn't Exist || H.S

chapter twenty-seven

Emily

I had expected to be able to get more sleep then I did, but unfortunately for me, my mind was still racing with thoughts of Harry. I felt weird not sleeping with him. And I don't know why because there was no reason for that. Harry and I had slept on his couch together... once. 

I realised I'd only slept twice since then. I had only just managed to sleep the night after. But the night after that was the night Harry kissed me. The night I couldn't sleep because he was the only thing I was thinking about. And all the other nights have been the same.

The second time I slept was yesterday. Molly had come in with a stacked plate with a full cooked meal on it. I devoured it quickly after not eating for 3 days straight. And then afterwards when I tried to get a good amount of sleep, I'd only managed one hour. It had taken me two hours to get that one hour of sleep. The one hour of sleep that I quickly woke up from after feeling cold without Harry's warm body against mine.

So after my pathetic attempt at sleep I retreated to the shower instead. I hadn't showered since the morning I woke up to Harry plucking at his guitar. I felt gross and looked like a mess when I looked in the mirror. No shower in 5 days, no change of clothes for 3 and messy and unbrushed hair was definitely not my best look. So believe me when I say, the warm water against my unwashed and dirty self, was heavenly.

"You better be packed by the time I get in here because our flight leaves in an hour and the traffic out there is terrible" Molly yelled from the kitchen.

I quickly shoved an outfit into my bag and zipped it up once I was done. There wasn't really need for me to pack at all, but better safe then sorry..

"Ready" I said as I grabbed my bag,  hauling it over my shoulder and then walking out from my room. 

"Good. The taxi's already waiting for us. I made you a sandwich for breakfast because it's the only thing we have left in the cupboard that's easy to eat in a moving vehicle" Molly said as she shoved the peanut butter sandwich into my hands.

Molly continued to rush around the apartment, grabbing last minute things and shoving them into her backpack. I could already tell that she was going to make a great Mum one day. I suddenly felt myself getting excited over the fact that I would be called Aunty Emily when the time came.

Harry

Fifteen minutes. There was only fifteen minutes until we walked out onto the stage for the last time together. There was only fifteen minutes until we performed for the last time together. 

The dressing room was filled with people. More people then usual.  The room seemed tiny with this many people inside and there was barely even room to walk around without touching shoulders with everyone. All the backstage crew and tech crew had dispersed in here for the last time and everyone was talking to each other loudly and happily.

But how could they all be happy right now? This was our last performance together and everyone was talking and going about their day like nothing was wrong. But everything was wrong.

Everything was wrong because this wasn't just going to be an 18 month long break. And the boys and I all knew.

Everything was wrong because I knew after this, we weren't going back to tours or concerts or interviews.

Everything was wrong because everything felt different. And I couldn't explain the 'different' feeling, it just felt different. 

And even though I loved everyone in this room so much, none of them were the person I wanted here with me. But she wasn't going to show up because I messed up everything.

"Harry" Someone began waving their hand in front of my face. I looked up to see it was Lou. She looked frustrated and bothered from the filled room and I could tell my snappy attitude had been making it ten times worse. 

I had been keeping all my answers to everyone very short and had only talked if I needed to. There had been plenty of times over these past few days where people had gotten so angry at me that they ended up leaving the room because of it. But no one was as angry at me as I was.

"Harry!" This time Lou shouted and grabbed my shoulders to get my attention. "You need to get up so I can work on Liam's hair. There is fifteen minutes until you walk out on that stage and he is far from ready" I pushed her hands off my shoulders and stayed where I was. I felt horrible for acting like this towards Lou, but it was nothing compared to the anger and hatred I had for myself.

Lou grabbed all the equipment she needed and walked off from where I was without another word to me. I could tell she was extremely frustrated at me by me now.

"Harry you need to cooperate sweetie" As much as I loved Mum, I wasn't in the mood for her advice right now. I kept my eyes on my rings and heard her sigh before walking away to Robin again.

"Niall, finally. Hurry up and get over here. I'm gonna have to work on you and Liam at the same time. And I'm going to have to do it over here" Lou huffed making sure I could hear her. I snapped my head up to her to give her a glare but my eyes locked with the last person I expected to see.

Emily.

Ooooh.