Unintended Consequences

Chapter 13

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    "Alright, Bitches! It's been too long since we talked," Kayla's voice came through my laptop speaker slightly muffled. "How's the first month of school gone?"

I smiled at the screen as Brit told us about pledging her sorority, but it didn't reach my eyes. I listened to my two best friends swap stories about their experiences—the parties, the boys, the new friends. Normally, this would be relaxing for me. Sitting back and being a silent spectator to The Brit & Kayla Show. But now, I just felt lost.

    They both seemed to be loving their schools and the freedom of college. I knew they would, of course, they were social butterflies who lived for having fun. Listening to them now though, I felt like I had become disjointed from my previous self. I wanted to yell at the computer screen that they were being reckless, and vapid. That not everything was fun gossip all the time, and sometimes a person needed to talk about something of substance.

    Like being drugged perhaps... I hadn't told either girl about what happened last month. I had tried a few times, but it never felt right. Our group chat conversations always moved so fast, with Brit and Kayla both ripping the topic in new directions. I never had a chance to talk about what I had gone through.

    If I'm being honest, I also wasn't sure I wanted to hear their take on what happened. I knew I was dumb for taking a drink from a stranger, I didn't need to be reminded. I didn't need to be called, "Baby Lotty" and fussed over for being so naive.

    "So anyways, Lotty what's new?" Brit drew me back into the conversation that hadn't included me since the inception.

    "Oh well, classes are going okay. A history major isn't quite what I thought it would be, the papers are really hard. But one of my prof's gave us this really cool assignment. We get to write a short story based on a historical event. So I'm excited about that..." Both girls nodded politely as I spoke but I almost rolled my eyes at how unenthused they clearly were.

    "That's awesome Lotty," Kayla said in a sugary voice. "Please tell me you are actually having fun too though! Any parties?"

    "Nope. N-no parties," I stuttered out. "I have been having fun though, my roommate is super nice and we've been spending tons of time together. I made a new friend too, Emmett. He's busy with football all the time but he'll still come around."

    "A football player? Is he the one from your Instagram? Seriously Lotty? He is hot! Don't you think?" Kayla pressed.

    "Uhm. I mean... I guess? We are just friends though."

    "Girl WHY. Jump on that! Why be friends with a hot football player when you can be friends." Brit wiggled her eyebrows as if her innuendo wasn't already perfectly clear. Frustration boiled up inside of me as I tried to remain calm. Had they forgotten who I was in the month we'd been apart? When had I ever "jumped on" anyone? They knew intimacy was important to me—special even.

    "Oh yeah, well actually speaking of Mads and Emmett I'm supposed to be meeting them to study soon so I better go!" I forced a smile at my laptop screen.

    "Love you, Lotty! Go get your man."

    "Peace girl."

    I shook my head as I closed my laptop. How was it possible to love people so much, but yet not... like them? Had Brit and Kayla really changed so much in a month? As I brushed my hair and got ready to leave a nagging thought rattled around in my brain. Maybe they weren't the ones who had changed. Maybe it was me?