A Little Bit Longer || YeonBin

15

~~~

TRIGGER WARNING!!

implied character death
and depressive
thoughts

this chapter is also mostly gonna have a lot of  monologue since
it would focus on Soobin

~~~

Soobin found himself standing in the doorway of the patient's lounge located at the 15th floor.

There was always no one in there each time he went so he felt appreciative of the consistent coincidence. But perhaps, it was only because the lounge was deliberately smaller than the ones on the lower floors and the fact that it could be found on the floor that was rarely visited by patients and workers alike.

There wasn't any reason for them to be wondering in that corridor anyway, since most of the occupied rooms are the ones below.

And Soobin, being completely aware of that fact, simply took advantage.

It was no longer a secret that Soobin enjoys and values self-company so it didn't come as a surprise that he prefers to be alone wherever he may go inside the facility. All he ever needed was the presence of his books to accompany him and to keep his mind from venturing his dark thoughts that he's so tired of dealing with.

For the years he's been staying in the facility, this room has become one of the few places he likes to be in the most. (The least being the gym and the other therapy rooms— his nurse, Namjoon, can not know about this or else he's to receive another set of scolding.) And since there's basically nobody around in this lounge, he gets to have this room all to himself.

Someone might think it's irrelevant though and lacking of significance for Soobin already owns a room, so what's the point of having another one several floors above his original one? It's just a lot of work and a waste of time.

However, it's a different case if that room happens to be the last place where you got to see someone so important to you.

It happened a few years ago, when Soobin was just a 16 years old boy but the memory is still fresh inside Soobin's mind no matter how many times he tried to bury it somewhere far.

The pain and the aftertaste of remorse is still there— dark, bitter and hot on his tongue like it only happened yesterday. And although Soobin had already told himself countless of times that he's over it and that he's fine, he knows he isn't.

Maybe he'll never be. Maybe he'll never be fine so there's no point in trying to convince himself otherwise and constantly lying anymore.

He's not fine.

He hasn't been in a long time. And he has become too used to this feeling that he doesn't want to be okay anymore. He just wants this to end.

Wants everything to end because he's so tired and he just keeps on getting more and more exhausted every single day and he just wants to rest.

Preferably, forever.

Soobin's eyes were blank as he scanned the room before slowly entering inside the lounge, not forgetting to close the door behind him.

His steps were slow, heavy and familiar— the same way he remembered he did 4 years ago when he left the head director's office to hide from his parents because he was stupid and naive and full of petty emotions so he resorted in leaving them like a total jerk.