"Even in the chaos of things, you are free to slow down and just be." – Morgan Harper Nichols
Dedication: littlenightblossom for leaving wonderfully entertaining comments! Thank you so much, I love reading them <3
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"Oh, so now you finally pick up!"
"Ah, please excuse me for a moment."
"Who, me? I don't think you've ever been so polite to me before. I like it."
"Yes, of course. I have some business to take care of. One second, please."
"What business? Also, why do you keep declining my calls, Pomegranate?
"Shh, I'm in a Zoom call, dimwit! The only reason I answered was to tell you to stop!"
"Oh crap, sorry! Let me know when you're free from the hell vortex."
"Next time, text me before you decide to leave five voicemails and three missed calls, or I'll drag you to the hell vortex with me!"
"Yes ma'am, won't happen again. Cross my heart and hope to die."
"..."
"..."
"Thank you for your time, professor, and please excuse the interruption."
"I'm bored. Can I speak now?"
"It was my cat. He's been a nuisance these days, always distracting me from my calls."
"Is this the part where I pretend to be your cat? Uh, meow, hiss, pspspsp!"
"That's the sound that humans make to attract cats, dumbass. Try harder."
"I'm not sure that 'attract' is the appropriate choice of word, here."
"Oh shush, you know what I mean!"
"Also, your Zoom mic's off, right?"
"Ah, crap! My apologies, professor. My cat's being particularly difficult. I'll end this call now, thank you for meeting with me!"
"Trust me, if you think this feline's difficult, then you've never met a real cat. Those are creatures from Hell."
"Well, you're the self-proclaimed king of the underworld, so you're the worst one of all."
"The feline overlord? I'd love to claim that title."
"I wonder if it's too late to get you neutered."
"Ah, I guess that's animal-speak for a vasectomy. Not looking to get my tubes tied yet, thanks. I want kids."
"Well, I'm sure your future partner and kids will be well-acquainted with Hell. The star-crossed lovers of the underworld!"
"Still a better love story than Twilight."
"Yes, well, that's a low bar."
"Also, what makes you think that I don't already have a love interest?"
"Dude, you just called them a love interest. That's like calling cookies 'a chemical reaction in the oven'. It's proof enough."
"Ah, well, you caught me. I'm single as a Pringle and ready to mingle."
"Uh, not sure mingling would land you a date. It'd probably just put you in the ICU."
"Well, that's a risk that I'm not willing to take! I guess I'll head down to the hell vortex and run a Zoom date."
"Do I get an invite?"
"Oh? I spy with my little eye, an applicant for the Queen of Hell! Why should I hire you, young lady?"
"I eat cereal without milk, drizzle olive oil onto ice cream, and can wiggle my ears."
"Going once, going twice... sold! To the lady with crazy food combinations and fine control over body parts."
"I'm Chinese-Australian, Space Jam! Once you've gotten used to chicken feet, pork floss, and Vegemite, anything's fair game."
"Wait, you're Chinese?"
"Yeah, what were you expecting?"
"No, that's cool. It's just a new nugget of information, since I still don't know what you look like. Care to share?"
"Yeah nah, that's all you're getting from me. Take it or leave it, Space Jam."
"J, I stuck googly eyes on my desk lamp so I can pretend that it's you. You've driven me certifiably insane."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"Spoken like a true queen of the underworld. Nicely done."
"Well, I learned from the worst."
YOU ARE READING
Breakout Rooms (#4)
Short Story"Hey, if there's anyone who could cook up a virus to start off this decade, it's those mothertruckers downstairs." "Well, let's hope those mothertruckers down there are wearing masks." "If not, I'll eat their souls." "That's not very social distanci...
