Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Recreation Chapter 9: My House, From Here

Fade in to Grif crashing the jeep into the giant tank-like thing the Megaphone Voice was coming from. Did I mention there was a giant tank-like thing? I meant to. Also Ghost stops right next to Grif with his vehicle perfectly fine... How?

Sarge: Aw dammit Grif. Look what ya did now. You busted up a brand new jeep.

Grif: Me? You were the idiots that started setting off mines.

Sarge: Well I managed to get outta there without getting hit by anything.

Grif: Because you jumped on the roof of the car. That's cheating.

Sarge: No, it's called strategy!

Grif: Well, your 'strategy' broke the jeep. So don't go blaming me. And the blue guy's dead too. How're we gonna explain that?

Weird Face Guy: What the hell? What were you thinking?

Ghost: ... C.T. ...?

South: No she is a girl not this faggot.

Sarge: We don't need to explain why he died, Grif. We're Reds! Killin' Blues is our business. And today, business is good.

Grif: But we didn't kill 'im. He stepped on a mine and blew up. And he's the reason that we're on this stupid mission. So now what?

Sarge: I see your point. So maybe we should have a moment of silence in honour of the dead Blue guy. Bow your head.

Ghost: Knowing the kid he isn't dead, but, whatever.

Fake C.T. : Hey, are you listening to me?

Grif: Do you mind? We're having a moment of silence? Show some respect.

Fake C.T.: What?

Ghost: Just shut the fuck up.

Sarge: Dear Lord, we thank you for taking another Blue back to Heaven today. Or rather not to Heaven. To whatever firey pit you send Blues to so they can suffer in eternity. You coulda taken Grif. But you didn't. Again. Not sure why, it woulda been easy! Those mine things are everywhere! But I guess you know what you're doing.

As Sarge is talking the camera pans back, and eventually we see Caboose fall back to Earth from a very tall height.

Caboose: Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Wow. Now that was a big explosion.

Grif: Blue guy's back.

Ghost: Told you.

Caboose: I went really high. Did anyone get a picture?

Sarge: And now you brought him back. And Grif's still here! I hate to criticize but you could've just had him land on Grif and squash him. That would've been easy! Just a note; you can take it or leave it. Like I said not really my place to criticize. Okay the end amen.

Fake C.T.: What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Ghost: I ask that question every day.

Sarge: Whoa. Now who are you?

Fake C.T.: Who'm I? Who are you? I'm supposed to be here. You guys are accessing an area on lockdown.

Sarge: Lockdown?

Fake C.T.: This is a restricted dig site. What are you doing here?

Caboose: Oh, uh we were just looking for a-

Sarge: We're just passing through on our way to meet up with the rest of our squad.

A jeep comes rolling along