Not Even Death

The Begining of the Last

"You should rest, young padawan."

I glance up to see the familiar form of Master Kenobi. The first time his ghost visited me on Ahch To, I was scared out of my wits. I'm still pretty creeped out every time he just pops up out of thin air.

"I'm not your padawan," I grumble returning my attention to the ancient text in front of me.

Obi-Wan sits crisscrossed in front of my pile of books and the berries I picked for snacks. "But you are still a learner. Otherwise, why waste your time reading all these boring texts?" He gestures to my books.

"Kanan is gone, so I need to learn all I can," I try not to sound annoyed.

I want to return to my reading, but the candle on the temple bookshelf begins to flicker. Night closed in tightly while I was nose-deep in musty books, like most nights, and I know that if I don't head back now, it will be another long walk in the dark to the small stone huts overlooking the rugged sea cliffs. I begin to tidy up my piles of texts, being careful not to damage the bindings.

"Maybe you're right, master," I admit as I start to head for the door. "Goodn—"

But the Jedi ghost interrupts my attempt at farewell, "May I join you?"

I feel myself nod. Obi-Wan may not be the best teacher for me, but he's a better companion than nothing. There are native peoples on the planet, but they don't understand basic. And they also kinda hate me for crashlanding my escape pod onto a building during my evacuation from Thrawn's ship.

We walk along as my candle creates dancing shadows on the rocky cliffs and walls. Everything here is in such perfect harmony; it's unlike anything else I've ever experienced.

"Master Kenobi, would it be okay if I asked you a question?"

"I suppose," he answers with his hands folded neatly in his robes. I really need to get some robes like that. "You asked me that question, and the universe still seems to be fine."

I chuckle. "You're worse than my dad. He always made jokes like that." I smile as memories bubble up. "Uh, but I wanted to ask about Kanan; I want to know why he doesn't visit me. Is-is he disappointed in me?"

Obi-Wan stops in his tracks and turns his attention to me. "I know losing the people we love is hard, but you must take time to heal before you jump to conclusions."

I shake my head. "No, see he sent a wolf, Dume, to guide me to a Jedi temple on Lothal, but that was before my plan to defeat Thrawn," I feel deflated just voicing this out loud. "I feel like Kanan is disappointed that I followed his example. I took the path that saved everyone but at the expense of the people we love, that I love. I can't imagine how hurt they must be."

"Why would your master be disappointed?" Obi-Wan sounds confused. "Sacrifice is the mark of a true Jedi."

Now, it's my turn to feel confused. "Then why are the Jedi so great?"

"I don't follow, Young Bridger."

"If the Jedi can only keep the peace when we sacrifice what we love most in the world, then what is the peace worth?" I ask the question as the words come to mind. "Peace and love are synergistic; without love, peace is just a war against those we disagree with."

I expect the master to scold me, to tell me that the dark side has won me over, but he just gives a small, sad smile. "A time is coming when the words you speak will mean new things in different ways. I held up the pillars of the Jedi with faith and honor; they served me well. However, we were, as a whole, arrogant and blind. We trusted the old ways to be true no matter how the worlds changed around us. The Jedi made many terrible mistakes...

"And soon, the last to bear this title will walk these very steps. The Jedi will be no more."

I blink, twice. "I'm gonna die alone down here?!"

I hear an unholy groan from the ghost. "I can at least say, without veiled meanings, that I don't mean that soon."

"Oh," I straighten my shoulders and point myself back in the direction of the huts, "that's nice to know."