Not Even Death

Best Bet

"It's not this one!"

"That's what you said about the last three habitable planets in this quadrant, but you still can't tell me where Ahch To is."

"You could just let me fly already!"

"I'm going to give you one guess as to my answer and why..."

I watch Ahsoka from across the room as her face twitches with every shout from Kanan and Hera. She's been faithfully trying to meditate for the past twenty minutes, but the wince she just gave tells me it's not going so well.

"Is she okay?" Zeb whispers across the table.

"I'm amazed she's lasted this long, but I still think she needs in," I decide as I watch the force wielder in pity.

"Oh, a bigger pot," Zeb's eyes fill with greed. "I like the way you think, Wren."

I smirk as the Lasot waves Ahsoka to our table where we have our credits lined up and waiting.

"What's this?"

"This," I explain with the wave of a hand, "is sanity in the form of making very easy money from a Losat and a former Jedi. If you're in, that is."

Spectres Four through Six, with Three serving as our mediator, found out long ago that Kanan and Hera were bound to get into an all-out bloodbath at least once a cycle. It's awkward, loud, and sometimes too revealing into their personal lives, but when you're betting serious credit, none of that matters so much.

I can see the ghost of a smile on Ahsoka's aging face. "What are you in for?"

With a grin, I reply, "I'm betting we have less than 32 minutes before Kanan says the last wrong thing, apologizes, and they don't leave their quarters until morning. Zeb bets that in 17 minutes Hera throws the ship into anchor and locks herself in the bedroom while Kanan sleeps in the nursery."

"Right on the money?"

"Nah, Chopper gets to weigh the variables. He determines who's closest."

Ahsoka pulls up a stool. "Alright, I'm in," she says as she lays credits onto the table. "In five minutes, Hera's hormones kick in and the only thing Kanan has to redeem himself is the box of mallow gums he keeps hidden behind the oat crackers."

"Ooh," Zeb chuckle. "This should be an interesting one."

*

Chopper chirps mocking me as he dances around the common room. My four-time winning streak, gone.

"How in the galaxy did you do that?" I ask, mystified, as Ahsoka gathers her credits. "You were off by two minutes!"

Asoka smirks. "Rex, Cody, and I kept open tabs on my master and Obi-Wan."

Zeb shakes his head. "No, you used the force," he points an accusing finger.

"That's not how the force works," I say with a dramatic eye roll.

"What's not how the force works?"

"Hera!" Zeb and I shout in unison as she eyes us suspiciously over her mallow gum.

"We were just playing a game with theoretical battle scenarios," Ahsoka doesn't miss a beat.

I beat a strong hand against Zeb's back as his chest heaves with a sudden coughing fit, but luckily, Hera buys Ahsoka's collected manor. She pops the last of the mallow into her mouth, speaking as she chews, "Well, we have a new planet on scans, and Kanan has a good feeling about it."

The steady thrum of my pulse turns hot and quick.

Ezra.

"I see what he means," Ahsoka whispers. "There's something very still, almost still enough to miss."

"Kanan said the planet was perfectly balanced," Zeb muses.

Asoka nods. "I've never seen this before, but that's exactly what it is."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I try to keep the excitement in my voice muted, but I'm so eager. "Let's bring Ezra home."

Zeb and Chopper join me with cheers and hoots and beeps. The two begin a victory dance that is, to put things nicely, a sight. Excitement tingles across the surface of my skin like electricity, and I almost feel like joining in.

Then, a hand appears on my shoulder.

"Can we have some girl talk?" Hera whispers.

"Uh," I'm caught off guard, "sure?"

We take refuge from the sounds of stomping feet and whirling droids in my room. Hera stops to admire my latest work that's still in the rough sketch phase. It would be farther along, but I'm trying to devote more time to the finishing touches on the nursery.

"It's Ezra's tower, right? On Lothal?"

I nod. "It looked so majestic one day; the sunset seemed like it could catch the whole thing on fire. So, I had to."

Hera moves to the bed taking a seat and motioning me over. "Ezra had nothing to do with it?"

I sigh at her directness before dropping beside the Twi'lek. "And if he did?"

Hera's fingers are freezing as she wraps them around mine. "Then, Kanan owes me fifty credits."

"What?" I snort.

Hera gives me a sidelong look that tells me she knows more about our "theoretical battle scenarios" than she lets on. Her gaze softens into a slight smile.

"We both knew this day would come, but we just disagreed about the details," she says with a dismissive hand before her tone turns serious. "I just want you to be prepared. For anything."

I shake my head. I can't think like that.

Hera grabs me by the shoulders. "Sabine, I want to find Ezra alive and well on this planet just as much as you, or Zeb, or Chopper, or Kanan, but... I also know how dangerous it is to love a Jedi. You have to be willing to sacrifice just as much as they do. You have to be ready to let them go. At any time."

Something hot and wet floods my eyes, then my cheeks, but I don't wipe away the tears. "Yeah," my voice sounds almost hollow, "I understand."

So, I'm posting this after midnight because I just can't sleep. I'm too bored. My family has been exposed to COVID, so I'm currently under quarantine. If you're a person of faith, prayers are welcomed and good thoughts too. This semester is really important to my college career, and I can't afford to get sick. Well, I guess no one can, but all the same.

This good for you though! I've had some extra bursts of creative juices, and I added a treat in the final author's note : )

I hope you guys stay safe and healthy!