Tudor Rose

ix. the girl in the dream

December 17, 1511

There was a girl. She was no more than seventeen or eighteen, and she looked a lot like me. I noticed the deep shade of purple on her regal gown. She wasn't doing anything, just standing in a plain room and staring directly at me. I could feel resentment and disappointment radiating off of her.

"Who are you?" I asked.

Her expression didn't change. "You hurt me."

"What? I-I don't even know who you are," I stuttered, stumbling forward a little. "Please, just tell me your name."

"Katherine," she answered reluctantly.

My mother's name. Perhaps this was my mother, at my age.

"Mother?" I asked.

"No!" the girl said bitterly.

"Then, who are you?"

"You know who I am. You hurt me."

 I stepped toward her, desperate. "How could I have hurt you if I don't even know you?"

"You hurt me," she repeated.

We stood silently, her expression not changing. She felt familiar, as if, deep down, I did know who she was. But how did I know her?

"You hurt me... Mother," she said, a single tear falling silently down her face.

It wasn't possible. I was certain I was going to have a son. Perhaps she wasn't my firstborn. There had to be an explanation for it, only I couldn't come up with one that seemed reasonable enough.

"You're my daughter?" I asked, shocked.

"I don't feel like your daughter, not really. I was ignored by my father, and my mother was nowhere to be found," she scolded, "You both hurt me!"

 "I would never leave my daughter, and I'm sure Henry loves you. He has to. You're his daughter."

Her expression changed from hatred to disappointment. "He can't even be around me," she said, smiling sadly, "He hates me because I remind him of you."

My head spun. What happened between Henry and I to make him dislike our own daughter so much? Why wasn't I around for my daughter? A million questions ran through my mind, some of them not even making sense.

"It's true," a deep voice said.

Suddenly, Henry joined Katherine, glaring at the girl. I noticed her shuffle to the side, hunching her shoulders a little. She seemed uncomfortable. What happened between Katherine and Henry? What happened to me and Henry?

"Henry!" I exclaimed, slightly appalled. I felt my heart shattering into a million little pieces, each piece holding an unanswered question that I longed for the solution to. "Is that true?"

"No! Well... yes," he answered simply.

I felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. "I don't know what I did to you, but you must forgive her. She is not her mother."

He glared at me, then Katherine, then me again. "No, she's just her mother's daughter," he scoffed. "You ruined everyone's life, Anna."

His words echoed around my chaotic mind.

I ruined everyone's life.

I ruined everyone's life

I-