Fate (h.s.au)

XLII

I stare at the ceiling, watching the fan spin in circles. My arm tightens around Lina while she sleeps, her head nuzzled in my neck. Her hand has been placed over my heart since she fell asleep. In my head, I've been holding onto the thought that this is her way of saying it. Those three fucking words I didn't want to say in the first place, but they just came out.

Her body is wearing my shirt and her panties, neither of us doing anything last night. All I had asked was to not talk about it, and she agreed. We've agreed that too much happened in a short amount of time.

I don't know how it happened, but I fell. I fell in love with her and I figured it was the moment I saw my anchor tattoo on her wrist. The feisty woman I met out behind the club turned out to be my soulmate. Best and worst day of my life.

It was the best because I no longer had to live with the thought of finding her. And it was the worst because I had no idea what was going to happen next.

My hand sets over hers and I bring her fingers to my lips, letting them linger there for a moment. I don't know how I could have fallen in love. I've never even thought about it until I faced the fear that I had lost her when I fought her father.

I look down at her and take her in. Dark lashes pressed to her cheekbones, full lips pressed softly together, and her soft whisps of breath presses to my skin.

My arm snakes beneath her and I lift her carefully onto me, her body stirring slightly as she adjusts to being on top of me. I wrap her tightly in my arms, her head pressing to my chest. Her hand runs down my arm and I watch, knowing that she's doing this mindlessly. Her touch is so easily distracting and it makes me cave every damn time.

I've had thoughts where I'd think about living with Lina; waking up and going to bed every night. The idea of being in our own place sounds like heaven, simply because we're so comfortable with each other. Being able to smoke together, whenever we'd want, because it's one thing we had in common when we first met. Lina and I try so many things together and I want her to always do everything with me. It makes me so happy to know she trusts me; hell, I trust her.

As I bring my hand to her hair, I hear her take a deep breath and I start to run my fingers against her head. I slowly massage it and I keep her tightly against my body, slowly moving my hand so she stays asleep.

When she's fast asleep like this is when I feel I can be the most affectionate to Lina. It's a weird concept, but she'd never really let me hold her like this if she were awake. Before morning, I usually roll her back onto her side and allow her to wake where she thought she'd fallen asleep.

If things were my way in our relationship, I'd be taking her out on dates and holding her hand. I would do stupid boyfriend shit for her because I want to see her be happy. There had been far too many days where she hated me; she'd yell at me and I'd get just as angry towards her.

I had slowly started retracting some of my instinctive ways of coping with my anger. I've made sure not to put my hands on her neck as much. It was far too aggressive of me, but at the time it was the only way I could get Lina to even listen to me.

She seems to like it in some regards, however. Which I don't mind. Having sex with Lina has changed every perspective I have on women. She is beautiful; her body is literally perfection and I could never even think about looking at another woman when I have her. She is absolutely stunning in every regard and I cannot believe that fate gave me her.

At first I was pissed. Now I'm in love with her.

My thumb runs against her cheekbone and I kiss her hair, keeping my lips there for a moment. I lay my head back on the pillow and close my eyes, keeping her close as I start to fall asleep.

I wake up alone, my eyebrows furrowing. My hand runs through my hair and I get up, walking over to the bathroom. I'm unable to prevent the smile crossing my lips when I see her pink toothbrush next to mine. Lina damn near threw it at my face when I bought it for her because pink is a 'basic bitch' color, as she said. But she uses it and for some reason, it makes me know she no longer hates me. There are the little things, and all her little things mean one big thing to me.

Lina is developing feelings similar to mine.

I walk out of the bathroom and go into the kitchen, Lina sitting on the couch with a mug of coffee in her hands. Her hair has been pulled back onto the top of her head and she looks up at me.

"Hi Harry," she says, my lips curving as I look at her. Something about her right now looks so playful; carefree.

"Hi baby," I tell her, walking over. She lifts her head to look up at me and I watch her pucker her lips, causing my lips to curve further. I don't know what's gotten into her, but I'm not going to say anything about it. This is something I'll bask in.

I lean down and peck her lips, then I grab her cheek and kiss her forehead.

"I made coffee," she says as I walk into the kitchen. I thank her and I hear her get up, following me into the kitchen. She takes a seat at the table and I pull out a pan, heating it as I grab eggs out of the fridge.

"Plans today?" I ask, grabbing a cigarette off the counter and lighting it.

"Writing. So I'll need to get home soon," she tells me, my head nodding. I finish making some eggs as she types on her phone, taking a seat in front of her. I extinguish the cigarette and she puts her phone down, looking up at me.

"I'll come over tonight," she tells me, and I nod. She starts to eat at some of the eggs, her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks as she looks down.

"Do you want to get dinner with me?" I ask, her head nodding.

"I'd have to get to work around seven. I have the door until 11," I explain, her lips curving.

"Will we get drinks then?" Lina asks, and I smile at her. There's something about her this morning that seems different. She seems more open; happy.

"Sure, baby."