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"Mom. I really did want you to meet her. I loved her, she was. . . bright. How could I have fallen so hard so fast? How am I supposed to feel about everything? Do I go back because I love her? Or do I think on it? It hurts mama. I never thought I'd have to lose anyone else after you."

I had no one else to run too after that day with Evie. I wanted my mom.

* * *


"Rose King once again!" The announcer raises my arm up in victory.

My opponent moans on the ground. Beat to a pulp his team comes to collect him. Fighting clears my head as always. Hopping out of the chalk circle I meet Sam's goofy ass grin.

"Feels like old times." He smiles.


Except I don't want things to be like old times. It seems wrong to step back into the mundane darkness after feeling the sun on my face.

I look over at where Ash is talking with other managers, setting up next week's fight. He accepts my prize money in a briefcase and nods at us through the crowd.

I pull my shirt on and follow Sam to the car. Time to go. We walk towards Ash's rich bitch mobile.

"Shotgun!" He calls. I oblige and get in the back.

We go through the motions. Sam counts the money on the way home, Ash will double count back at Brookedale. We'll split it based on individual earnings after Ash gets his 35%.

I sigh and look out at the starry sky. Fuck the old times. The city comes up as we cross the bridge and I shove all thoughts and feelings about Her deep down. The music stops and Ash's phone rings.

"Quiet Sam," Ash chuckles. He answers the call stoically. "Asher Klein, you're on speaker."

"I will NEVER get tired of that, Ash." Camille giggles through the line. We know that we don't have to be quiet anymore.

"Hey Camille!" Sam says.

"Hey you,"

"Yes, haha. Hello Camille." Ash turns red and continues driving 20 over the limit.

"Sorry, sorry boys. I'm gonna kick it here tonight Ash. Audrey Rose is just about down and it's really too late for me to drive home."

"Sure, I'll see you when I get home."

"That was positively domestic." Sam gapes. "She's just living with you now?"

"No!" Camille insists.

"She doesn't live with me." Ash sputters. "She just stays over sometimes."

"I'm dead." Sam clutches his stomach and roars with laughter. "Audrey Rose isn't even a year old yet and she's about to have a niece."

"We're not—" they protest.

"Leave them alone Sam." I grin.

"Okay I'm gonna go." Camille groans.

"Bye." They chorus.

The teasing continues until we get home. Sam and I say goodnight and race to the door.

"He's so whipped." He laughs.

"Yeah, but it suites him. Nothing shakes him, we always knew it would be a woman who would come along and have him on his knees."

Sam disappears for the night and I sit on the kitchen counter with my thoughts. Nighttime is dangerous this way.

It's been a month. She's still at St. Anne's, and I'm still wandering here. She refuses to see me, instead Brandon fills me in. I never asked him to. He just does.

I fight and drink and party like before. Anything to keep my mind off her. It's when I'm alone that I can't anymore. I don't even know how I feel about it. I've spent too many years trying to feel nothing.

In the bathroom I pull my shirt off and look at my bruised chest. The littered scars that don't hurt anymore and the newest, most painful wound in my heart.

Everyday things become a checklist of what i wish I could do with her. Making breakfast, going shopping, showering.

After I shower, I step into my dark room and leave it that way. I dress in the dark, I dry my hair in the dark, and I walk past my bed and into my closet in the dark.

I lay down and prepare for a sleepless night filled with dreams of Her. I pull the blankets of my little nest around me and plug my phone in to charge.

In the dark.

Short chapter I know!!! I promise the others are standard length :)

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