01: Emilia

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-Emilia-

"You stupid bitch! When are you ever going to learn your lesson!" Ryan yelled as he grabbed a fistful of my hair and dragged me down the hallway. I kicked and screamed for him to let me go as tears left my eyes.

"I'm sorry!" I cried out, knowing what was about to happen. I tried to detangle his fingers from my hair and run but his grip was strong. I was close to getting rug burns from my legs scraping against the carpet in our bedroom.

Ryan opened the door to the closet and he threw me inside of it. I smacked against the wall and looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Please don't.." My lip was quivering and shaking as I watched him grab the handle of the door. There was nothing but pure anger on his face as he looked down at me.

"You're going to sit here and think about what you did until I tell you to come out." He growled out at me and the light that I saw completely turned into darkness as he shut the door and locked it behind him.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and I buried my face into them as I started crying. My body shook with every sob and my dark hair kept sticking to my face from the tears. I didn't even deserve to be in here. I hated it when he put me in here. All because I told him no when he asked me to grab him a fucking beer.

This isn't the first time he's done this. The other times it was over more stupid reasons than me saying no. If I didn't look him in the eye when he talks to me, I'd get put in the closet. If I didn't answer him, I'd get put in the closet. You must be thinking, 'well why don't you just leave?' Trust me I've tried to but I have nowhere else to go. My mother kicked me out when I was sixteen, my fathers a dead beat and I have no connection to the rest of my family. I also don't have many friends because Ryan says that the only thing I need is him.

I know my relationship is toxic but disregarding the times where he isn't sober, he's somewhat nice. He has his good and bad days. Today was a bad day.

"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled at me from the living room because I was crying too loud. I whimpered and sobbed silently as I looked around the closet. I couldn't see for shit. I stood up and pulled on the string to the light.

"You idiot." I whispered quietly to myself and wiped away my tears. I grabbed one of my books inside of the closet and I made a spot on the floor with clothing that fell off the hangers. I made a pillow out of shoes which was highly uncomfortable and I laid down as I distracted myself with my imagination.

Sometimes I wish that I never met him. If I could go back to the day where I met him in the coffee shop, I would have never agreed to go on a date with him. At the time, my living situation was pretty shit. I never had a stable place to stay so I would hop around between my old high school friends houses if they allowed me to stay. Eventually I stopped talking to them because Ryan didn't like the fact that I had friends and other people in my life besides him.

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his-his-...goddamnit." I muttered to myself quietly as I read To kill a Mockingbird. One thing amongst most things that I hate about myself is the stuttering problem I have. Sometimes when I read, I get stuck on really easy words and in this case, the really easy word I'm trying to say is point.

My speech had never been a big issue before until Ryan entered my life. Just thinking about him gives me anxiety and fills me with dread. I stutter mostly when I'm nervous, scared or if I'm not feeling any of those things, it just comes naturally.

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