Dear Spencer Reid | 1

9. self destruct

he never called.

—
You went through several different emotions while Spencer was gone.
For the first three days, you were just sexually frustrated. It was as simple as that. The two of you had sex before he left, and it was incredible.

For the next three after that, you spent your time sitting in front of your phone, laying on the floor, hanging off the edge of your bed, waiting for a phone call that never came.

A total of six days had passed, and you were on to a new mood. The feeling was a deep worry and heart shattering sadness. You knew he was on a tough case, and had no idea if he was safe, let alone alive.

Your under eyes were puffy and red from crying, and you would barely move from your bedroom.

All of a sudden, you heard your phone ring. Life flew through your body as you grasped for your phone on the nightstand, immediately answering the unknown number.

"Hello???" Your hands were shaking as you held the phone.

"Hi! It's Garcia." A lump formed in your throat, and your lips returned to a straight line.

"Hi, Penny. Uh.. What's up?"

"Emily, JJ and I are going to go out tonight... Would you like to join? I miss going out and dancing with you!"

You felt horrible turning her down despite being in a bad mood, so you accepted.

"Sure! When should I be ready?" You looked at the clock just as it struck 7:30 pm.

"I'll make my Uber take a detour and pick you up around 9:00. Is that good?"

"Yes! Can't wait, love you." You felt her smiling as she responded.

"Love you more, you crazy lady." She hung up, and you fell back into your pillows, letting out a sigh.

How were you going to cope with this heartbreak?

Lots and lots of alcohol.

—
You finished applying your clear lipgloss, leaning back and staring at your reflection. You had picked out a tight satin mini dress, the color being a deep mauve. The dress displayed an ample amount of cleavage, and ended mid thigh. The straps were a spaghetti style, and the back was low.

You had done a subtle black smokey eye look, bringing out the vibrance of your bright eyes.

Spencer would love this dress.

You know he loves purple.

You took a deep breath and raked a hand through your hair, focusing on your eyes in the mirror.

"You got this. Tonight will be fun." You spoke aloud, hoping to sound confident enough to convince yourself to pull it together.

You slid on your tall black heels and grabbed your matching clutch, slipping some cash, your phone, and your apartment keys inside it.

You left your apartment building and stood on sidewalk, waiting for the Uber carrying Penelope to arrive.

You looked down at the curb, watching loose leaves glide across a puddle. You wondered if it had rained where Spencer was.

You jumped out of your skin as you heard loud honks of a car horn parked a few feet from you.

A window rolled down, and Penny's head emerged from the car.

"Y/n, let's go! We're losing drinking time!" She called, waving her arm frantically.

You chuckled and slowly jogged to the car, opening the backseat door. A grinning JJ and Emily met you, and scooted over one seat to make room for you.