Dear Spencer Reid | 1

10. beautiful silence

"Reid was shot."

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"I-is he- okay?" You managed to ask, your hands violently shaking. You felt tears fall from your eyes, and you covered your mouth from making any noise.

"He.. He went into surgery just now. He wasn't crashing when he got to the hospital, but he lost a lot of blood. Y/n, I thought he was going to die in my arms. I really thought so."

"J-just call me if I can- somehow get there? And s-see him? I n-need.." You sobbed into your hand, collapsing to the ground. "De-rek please.." You wailed.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" You heard the distant voice of Penelope, but didn't respond to her.

"I can send you the address to the hospital, it's going to be a four hour drive for you." Derek suggested.

"I-I need to see him. I need- I need- to.. Please. Send the address." You hugged your body with one arm, trying to stop your shaking.

"Alright. Check your email, everything will be there. Hotel and hospital. Are you okay though y/n?"

You hung up the phone, though the genuine concern in Derek's voice was so heartwarming.

"Y/n, talk to me." Penelope turned you around by your shoulder, revealing your tear stained face. "Who was that on the phone, babe?"

She took the phone out of your hand and read the contact

Spencer Reid 12:01 am 5:45 minutes

"What was Spencer calling about?" She held your arms, trying to focus on your face.

"It-it wasn't Spencer." Your voice cracked as you said his name. "Derek called from Spencer's phone to tell me that he was shot-" You whimpered as you spoke the words aloud, beginning to feel the effects of the news.

"Oh my god! Is he okay??" You opened your mouth to speak, but no words were coming out.

"Come here. Y/n, it's okay. I'm sure he's fine. You know how strong he is." She brought you into a tight hug. The way Penny spoke made your mind flashback to when you were holding Spencer in your arms.

"Spencer. You are the most complex and absolutely breathtaking human being I have ever met." His head and torso rested atop your lap, his arms tightly wrapped around your waist. You ran one hand through his hair soothingly, the other rubbing his back.

"You're so strong all the time, Spence. You're always the one that stores away their feelings, and I need you to know that you don't have to do that with me." As you spoke, you heard heart-shattering sobs coming from him, muffled by your body.

He shook softly and his grip around you tightened.

"It's o-it's okay! You're okay now Spence-r." You leaned back into the corner of the couch and pulled him by the underside of his arms, lifting his head to rest on your chest.

You chest ached as you vividly remember the way his arms around your waist felt, with his head resting against your body.

You couldn't stand the way you were feeling, you felt like your world was ending.

Five days before your 26th birthday, and your world was shot in the chest.

"P-penny, I need to see him now." You whispered against her shoulder, sniffling. "I think I've fall- I just.. I need to drive to the hospital, now." Penelope pulled away from you and studied your face.

"Y/n, you've had too much to drink, you can't go right now!"

"What- what if I get there later and then it's too late?! I'll never get to tell him that I love him!" You blurted out with your voice raised slightly.