Crossing Lines

Chapter 31 - Mila

I can't explain what happened to me yesterday.

I felt like a completely different person. And even though I liked this new, somewhat improved version of me, it was exhausting at the same time.

Because the fire still licking inside me consumes me to some extent, and I'm afraid to see what damage it'll do when it burns down.

Truth is, I feel stronger. My dad's words are etched in my brain, and Hayden definitely has an effect on me that makes me feel wanted and seen. But anxiety, insecurity, and especially depression aren't things you simply get over with. It's a process. A slow and painful one, but one worth making. And I think I'm getting there.

Hayden's arms come around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder when he joins me in the kitchen. "How are you feeling?" he asks with a kiss on my neck, and even though we spent all morning and half the day in bed, making up for lost time, I melt against his touch again.

"Tired." I smile when he presses another kiss on my shoulder before he reaches over and turns off the portafilter machine in front of me.

"Watch out, Lucky. Wouldn't want to spill anything." His breath fans down my chest, and the way his teeth graze over my collarbone makes my heart thunder again. The effect he has on me should be illegal.

"Hayden," I breathe out, trying to regain control in this scenario, obviously to no avail. His hands already find their way beneath the oversize shirt I'm wearing, the sensation of his fingers on my stomach giving me all sorts of butterflies.

"You have no idea what you do to me when you walk around in just my football jersey, do you?" he whispers in my ear, and I can't help but shudder with a smile.

"You gave this to me."

"I had no idea just how sexy you'd look. Fucking hell." His gravelly voice vibrates against my skin as his hand wanders up, almost reaching my breasts. But before he has a chance to act on his impulses, my stomach rumbles again, the sound sending a wave of embarrassment straight through my veins.

"Oh my God. Again?" I mumble against my fingers when I throw my hands on my face, trying to hide from the fact that he must think I'm a starving monster all day long.

But Hayden's lips twitch into a smile before he brushes another kiss on my neck, his hand releasing my stomach to reach for the room service menu on the counter next to us. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Uh..." I slowly remove my hands from my face. "Last night? Except for those peanut butter cups this morning."

His laugh echoes through the room, and he shakes his head in amusement as he spins me around and tips up my chin. The way his eyes take me in makes me nervous. I must look ridiculous, tomato-red face and smeared lipstick, or whatever's left of it, painted on my tired features. And still, Hayden looks at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and that only makes me want to have more of him again. I'm addicted to feeling this way; desired, seen, and so beautiful...

Hayden wouldn't be Hayden if he didn't know what I want, so it only takes a second before he brushes his lips against my own, the movement so gentle and yet intense that I moan into our kiss.

"Mhm..." I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer, suddenly so desperate to have all of him again.

He responds at first, his large hands roaming my back and behind as he presses me closer against him. But then he suddenly pulls back, and I almost pout when he rests his forehead against my own. "I hate to say it, but...we should get some food in you," he whispers.

That he's the one to take control of this situation doesn't surprise me, and still I lean back with a smile to look at him properly, watching this handsome man in front of me rein himself in to make sure I get something to eat. "Yeah, I guess you did wear me out, huh?"