HEATHEN

9.

Aries.

"Thank you for having us, I had a great time with you guys, Alvey be good to Aries, okay older brother." Emma hugged her brother tightly as today they were heading back to the Ryeland pack.

"Aries thanks for everything, I'm sure Raziq will love these books and the chicken nugget recipes, take care of him for me, and don't worry you're doing a great job already." I smiled with the pride that swelled inside of me.

I was doing a great job, though I felt as if I was lacking, I was doing a great job, I really wanted Heathen to be happy, and I somehow found myself happy if he was.

I wanted a lot of things with him and this past week with his sister showed me that I could have those things, Emma just didn't reassure me about how great I was doing, in taking care of Heathen but with myself.

She made sure to make me realize that even though Heathen was a priority of mine, I shouldn't get it mixed with abandoning my own self and being consumed by the need to please Heathen.

She told me a lot of her struggles in marriage, it wasn't as effortless and easy as people make it out to be, nothing is that perfect, but mutual respect and understanding made it all worthwhile.

"Terric don't forget to call when you get there, just to make sure you're safe." He nods and hugs me as well. "You got me to gain extra weight in a week, you're a devil, Aries." We both laughed as he loaded the rental car with bags.

"You loved my food, don't complain." He raised his hands in mock surrender. "So when will you visit again? Or are we visiting you guys?" I asked Emma who smiled eagerly at my question.

"Next time, you come to us, and we can tear down St. Maine together." I laughed again and saluted her. She wasn't scary like I thought she would be, she was a friend, a sister, I'd even consider calling her a homegirl.

"Leaving already,  stay a while." Axel pouted toward Emma. "Wish we could bud, but Terric is still beta and we have to go help out with the pack family houses, but don't worry, I will always be back for Aries's food." They both laughed as Terric had finally finished packing the luggage into the car.

"Thanks for the tips Danny, but I'm sure a certain someone needs them more." I groaned knowing what both of them were talking about. Heathen and I were only at kiss level not full on rip your clothes off and fuck you into oblivion level.

Though I would like to get there, my mind isn't all that ready yet, I'm almost there but I need to be open with Heathen about my past, I need him to know that I'm not all that great.

I'm damaged goods, I know he won't break up with me over it, but it's just hard to let it out, it took years for me to get over it and now that I'm finally with him, I don't know how he'll react to it.

I don't want to strain our relationship because of my bad past, even though I know Heathen is a saint, contrary to his name, he's loving and I doubt he would give me the boot, but I'm still just a wolf with insecurities.

I watch as brother and sister talk, and the little tears from Emma, though they talked on the phone I understood why she was all emotional, it's never the same as seeing the person in reality, to actually see how they are, to touch them, feel them, a call can only go so far.

And from what I know now Heathen and Enma consider each other as siblings and only family, the rest of their family through alive is not to be counted in with them.

Emma explained to me the deep history of Heathen and herself with the Cold Lake pack, though some parts she explicitly told me it wasn't for her to say, the rest was understandable.

She and Heathen were the Alpha's children and due to ill-treatment by their father, Emma went to college without telling anyone so as to escape being used as a bargaining chip by the alpha and Heathen decided to leave.

That's where it got murky when I asked the reason why he up and left, it wasn't for her to tell, it was for Heathen to say when he wanted to, and knowing Heathen she was right, he would tell me when he was ready to tell me.

I had no problem with waiting for him to tell me when he was ready, I was practically doing the same thing anyway, I wasn't ready to speak and neither was he.

I wondered if our relationship was healthy, when we were both damaged, yet trying to survive after being hurt so many times, could we actually function normally as a couple, when we both have wicked pasts and even more so for me, bad memories that haunt me.

I wanted to be normal for Heathen in terms of my mental state, not be some broken piece he can't seem to pull together and it stays in one piece, I wanted him to want me as well like I wanted him, crave me even, with all that I was.

"So yeah, time to go love, I promise I will call you." I embraced Emma again and waved toward Terric. They got in the car and reversed onto the street, with another wave they were off and I was left with my boyfriend, yes boyfriend, Axel, and Danny.

We stood there silently just watching the car go by, I was really going to miss them. "Miss them already." I whispered to myself but I guess Heathen heard me and pulled me to him.

He didn't need to say anything, he just held me in his arms, they felt safe, strong and protective, and I would never want another to hold me like this, I don't think I would want Heathen to hold another like this as well.

"Let's go inside and I make your favorite cookies." He nods enthusiastically, I loved seeing that happy sparkle in his eyes, even if it was elicited by food, he was a child at heart and it was funny at times but also cute.

We made it back into the house after bidding farewell to Danny who had an errand to run, Axel stayed, because he obviously wanted cookies too, though the alpha glared at him with intensity that none could rival.

After a while of baking, I walked to the back yard where Heathen and Axel were, I hadn't noticed the other two males from the pack who had joined them since I was inside.

I stood by the door, watching as one of them gushed over Heathen, he would try ignore the slight flirtatious smiles and comments, but the guy wasn't getting a hint and at some point, I realized Heathen was completely oblivious to it.

I wanted the guy to get his grabby hands off, so I growled, yes I was jealous and so was my wolf, the guy only glared at me and tried to get Heathen's attention.

I knew I was being petty with jealousy boiling in me, but I couldn't stand Heathen not prying that flirtatious wolf off him, so I made my U-turn into the house grabbed my things, which was anything I could find and Heathen's jacket, swung the door open and left.

I was frustrated, jealous and a little sad, deep down I wanted Heathen to chase me and drag me back, but as I walked down the street I couldn't feel him coming for me, and it stung.

Which only lasted about a minute, when I was hauled up and over a 7ft tall alpha. Somehow I liked being bent over anywhere on his body.

So I smiled like a Cheshire as I was being carried back.

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LMJ