Chapter 26: Fear (Of the Unknown)

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I sit with Zain, Tave, and Theo at our usual table in the lunch hall

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I sit with Zain, Tave, and Theo at our usual table in the lunch hall. I watch Zain choke on her food and let out a wheeze of laughter, and Tave smiling with satisfaction at her laughing over one of his jokes. I watch Theo chewing on his food, his jaw working as he flips through a book until he catches my eyes. I drown in the split second of stolen glances and knowing smiles that make my heart pirouette and squeeze itself.

It is moments like this that I steal and savor for as long as I can, before it's too late and everything changes. Now, things are normal. Looking at my friends now, it's disheartening to realize they don't know what is coming in a few days.

My gaze flits to Atlas at the other end of the long table, sandwiched between Yvonne and Idris. Idris talks animatedly to Atlas, a hand over his mouth as he eats while Atlas stares vacantly at his food and nods absentmindedly. Does he, also, know what's coming in a few days?

He must sense my gaze because he glances up, and we lock eyes. I'm itching to find out what he's thinking of right now. For the first time, his stare is not arrogant or condescending. He just stares, spinning a fork on the table. Does he regret revealing a part of himself in that elevator last week?

I look away first and redirect my attention to Zain. I think she's been talking to me for a while.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I ask.

Zain rolls her eyes. "I was asking if you were coming to the party?"

"The party?"

Next to her, Zale leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. "I'm throwing one for our end-of-season game."

A few months ago, going to parties was the most worrying thing I had to think of. Now, I'm so detached that it would almost be comical if I went to that party. "I think I'm busy."

Zain groans. "Sage, you missed out on all the parties so far."

"I went to one."

"Yeah but this party is different. Zale's throwing it," she exclaims.

In Whetherton, this actually means something. Zale is known for being the notorious partier, the fun jock, the guy that can make a Calculus period enjoyable. Zain's pleading eyes make me rethink my choice, as usual. This may be the last party or fun thing we do together. Maybe attending it wouldn't be too bad.

"Let's not kid ourselves. Sage has much better things to do than attend this party," Yvonne scoffs. She rolls her eyes, playing with a blond strand of hair.

Before I can brush her off, Atlas shrugs a shoulder and glances at me, speaking words I would never have imagined to be possible. "You should come."

I open my mouth to say something and close it, too stunned to form words.  Yvonne snaps her head to him and narrows her eyes. Theo raises an eyebrow at me, and we share a look.

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