Maybe tomorrow

Chapter 25

I had left about 10 voicemails for Clary because I hadn’t seen her ever since I left her with Jared. Damien had taken me home late in the evening.
 

We hadn’t talked much but it hadn’t an awkward or unpleasant silence. He had promised me to explain everything to me next weekend because he would be gone this entire week due to a number of meetings in California he had to attend.
 
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wait an entire week to finally get an explanation, but I didn’t have a choice.
 
He would pick me up on Sunday morning which meant that I still had to wait an entire week.
Derek and Celia would be arriving in New York on Friday afternoon and Clary and I had been planning to have a girl’s night on Saturday after we helped Derek and Celia to rearrange stuff in their new apartment.
They wouldn’t start their jobs until the week after that though.
Their furniture would be coming Friday morning already and because I didn’t have to work that day, I had volunteered to manage everything with the movers.
 
The remaining time on Sunday I spent with Charlie, Mr and Mrs Black. Damien was already on the flight to California and he had only told me about it this morning when he called me. I didn’t even know where he got my number from.
 
We went to the zoo together after Charlie’s chemotherapy. At first Charlie was upset because Damien wasn’t there but in the end it was a lot of fun and I was thankful for the distraction.
I was still mad at Damien but with every passing minute my malevolence decreased. Instead I grew more and more nervous.
I was not much of a conspiracy-theorist, but I couldn’t help but wonder what in the world could make a man act so …contradictory.
 
For the rest of the week though, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Every morning Charlie and I took the subway to Midtown Manhattan where I dropped him off at Mr and Mrs Black’s apartment, and after that I went to the office.
 
Work was busy but I got used to my work schedule and during lunch break Emma and I always got something to eat together. I had met a few new colleagues too of which some joined us at lunch on Tuesday but usually it was just Emma and me.
 
The redhead was starting to grow on me and by Thursday she had basically told me her entire life story. I felt guilty for not sharing any intimate details of my life with her.
 
I had told her about Charlie and Celia but not about my connection to the Blacks nor Charlie’s illness.
I trusted Emma but she was very talkative, and also a little clumsy.
Sometimes the words just came out and she only realized a few minutes later that she had just told me a secret that she had been supposed to keep.
 
On the other hand, she had told me that most people here were pretty stuck up and that I was her first real friend here. Who would she tell?
I sighed deeply.
 
It was Thursday and therefore my last day of work. I hadn’t heard from Damien ever since he told me he had to go to California.
Clary on the other hand, had finally responded to my voicemails.
Apparently things had been going better than expected at the gala, and the excessive amount of alcohol she and Jared had drank, had probably played a role in that as well.
 
She had called me on Monday evening and even though she hadn’t given me any details, they seemed to have spent a lot of time together, which was why she hadn’t called me on Sunday.
She as still worried about what Damien might say but I convinced her that he would get over it, even though I wasn’t quite sure whether that was true. He was very protective of his family.
 
We hadn’t had much time on the phone, so I would have to wait till next weekend to press for more information.
 
We were getting ready at Clary’s apartment. It was a beautiful loft with a great view of the Hudson River. Her bedroom was a mess though.
There were clothes everywhere: On her bed, the floor, the couch, the nightstands and in even in the bathroom.
Clary and Celia got along instantly, which was probably due to the fact that both felt like they had known each other for ages because I had already told them so much about each other.
 
It took us hours to get ready, not because we spent so much time on makeup and the perfect outfit, but mostly because we spent half of the talking and laughing, while laying on Clary’s bed.
 
Celia told Clary, very much to the latter’s amusement, a few embarrassing stories from my time in college and high school and I had just as many stories to tell about Celia. For example, the one time she went on her aunts wedding.
She had been sick the day before but she had insisted on going and when she had wanted to hand over the wedding gift she had through up on the entire table of presents.
And on her aunt as well.
Another time, she had been wanting to come home from a party when we were still here in New York. She had gotten into a taxi with an old lady as a driver and she hadn’t realized until she got out that it hadn’t been a taxi but just a regular car.
It hadn’t helped much that she had been coming from a Halloween party and her shirt and face had been covered in fake blood.
 
“I am still so sorry for the lady. You have scared her for life. She probably had a heart attack when you just got into her car looking like a zombie.”, I laughed, and Celia slapped my arm.
 
“It was not entirely my fault. Her car was yellow, and I wasn’t thinking straight. She should have expected something like that to happen with a car like that.”, she defended herself, but she was still grinning, when she grabbed a dark red lipstick and started putting it on.
I decided to forgo the lipstick and instead put on lip gloss that was, like my remaining makeup was very subtle. As a mom you usually didn’t have the luxury to spend hours in the bathroom in the morning, just to do your makeup; and I had really gotten used to it by now.
 
Clary had done her fair share of telling embarrassing stories as well.
Not about her, of course, but mostly about Damien, Graham and Jared.
I tried to convince Clary to tell us what happened with her and Jared last weekend, but all she did was flush and change the subject.
That could only be a good sign though and maybe she would be a little franker on the matter once she had had a drink or two.
 
And she probably wouldn’t even have to pay for them. The way she looked; I was sure there would be a ton of guys wanting to buy her a drink.
In the end she had finally decided to go with a short dress in a light lavender color and matching heels.
Celia was wearing a cute grey dress with a loose skirt, matching her ashy grey eye color. She had clipped a few strands of her short, chestnut brown hair to the back of her head and her grey eyes twinkled in excitement when we left the apartment building.
 
Celia was even paler than me and her face was covered in freckles, which she hated but I thought they looked lovely on her.
Her parents were Irish, and they had moved here when she had been only 6, so she didn’t remember much of her childhood there but her family and her had been visiting family there once in a while and from what she had told me it wasn’t at all like the ancient fairytale-land you heard about.
No Leprechauns and no pots of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Just grouchy old drunkards living in cold, dirty stone houses, without heating and with cows everywhere, blocking the roads.
And rain. Lots of it.
 
It wasn’t quite what I had imagined but it sounded oddly charming in a way. Maybe one day I would come with Celia and visit her family there.
I hadn’t ever left the US, except for one time, when my parents took Lainey and me to Toronto. But Canada hardly counted.
 
Before Lainey had died we at least gone to different states, like Louisiana, Colorado, or Florida. But after Lainey died my parents started working even more.
I knew it had been just as hard for them, as it had been for me. Work had kept them distracted and going on vacations and having had just seemed so wrong after Lainey wasn’t around anymore.
 
Celia pulled me out of my thoughts when she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the door, the concierge was holding for us.
A silver van was waiting for us and I got into the back row after Celia and Clary.
“Are you okay?”, Celia asked, and I nodded, pushing the thoughts of my sister aside. She would want me to have fun tonight with my friends.
And that was, what I was going to do.
 
When we arrived each of us had already had a drink from the small fridge and I was starting to feel a little loosened up. When we arrived, I found myself smiling and humming to the music Clary had turned up.
Her bodyguard had taken us to the club we went to but he didn’t come with us, when we walked past the long line towards the entrance doors that were blocked by two men in suits with broad shoulders and a grim face expression that made me hesitate for a second.
 
“Shouldn’t we go to the end of the line?”, I asked Clary doubtingly, but she just smirked a little and walked up to one of the security guys.
When he recognized Clary, he smiled and waved and suddenly he didn’t seem as scary anymore. Clary leaned forward and they exchanged a few words and then he looked over her shoulder towards me and Celia.
 
He waved and a little uncertain I followed Celia who immediately smiled and stepped forward. The guy in the suit handed us 3 cards and beckoned us in, much to the hassle of some people waiting in line.
I flushed when a group of girls shot me some vexed looks and quickly followed Celia and Clary inside.
 
Inside, a waitress guided us to a small table in a separate area and Clary laid down her coat on the round, red couch.
“This is so cool. I’ve never been here before, but the Mahogany is one of the most exclusive clubs in New York. How did you get us in here?”, Celia asked impressed and took a look around.
She was right. The place was really cool.
A mixture between a tropical and retro theme. There were dazzling lights everywhere and the ambiance was great.
 
There were multiple dance floors, distributed onto different floors and smaller, separated areas to sit and have a drink, like this one.
There were also multiple bars. I focused on Clary who brushed her long silky hair behind her ear, and she gave us a wide secretive smile.
 
“I am well connected.”, she laughed and ordered a couple of drinks. I didn’t pay attention to what she ordered and instead took off my jacket and placed it on the bright red leather couch.
Celia did the same and we chatted a little until Clary was done placing her order. I had missed talking to her and I had missed her daring, bubbly personality.
She had always been the one to push me out of my comfort zone and to many people it would have been surprising she dated a quiet and introverted guy like Derek.
 
Derek was into computers and math while she loved art and didn’t even know how to reboot her own laptop. But once you saw them together it was obvious that they were a great couple.
They were good for each other and sometimes I found myself jealous of their relationship. I would have done anything to find somebody that truly loved me, just the way they loved each other.
 
And it seemed like Clary and Jared were getting closer too. Maybe I would soon be the only single among my friends, not that I minded that much. I wasn’t desperate to find a boyfriend and I got along just fine on my own but sometimes I dreamed of having a real family, just like my parents, my sister and I had been once. I wanted someone to come home to in the evening.
 
Celia was my best friend, and I couldn’t express in words how thankful I was for everything she had done for me, but it just wasn’t the same.
She had Derek and her other friends and even though it was selfish, I wanted someone for my own and sometimes I felt like even Celia didn’t truly understand how I felt.
I didn’t blame her; how could I?
 
But she was bolder than I was, and I knew she didn’t understand some of the decisions I had made, for example not telling my parents about Charlie’s cancer.
Celia bumped her elbow against mine.
“Stop staring at the wall like that. We are here to have fun and not be in a funk. Pull yourself together.”, she said determined and put her hands on her hips.
I returned her grin und impulsively pulled her into another hug.

“I am so glad you are here.”