Tenth Grade was Fun!

9. LOCK-IN CONFESSIONS

One phone call with my mom later, I change into my sweats and loose t-shirt and have dinner.

After dinner, I throw myself face-first on my bed.

Closing my eyes, I simply laid there trying to go through any song's lyrics to keep my thoughts from going back to...no! Song lyrics. Remember.

I don't know how much time had passed when I hear the front door open and footsteps were nearing my room.

My room's door slowly opens, revealing my mom, as she walks in.

Looking at my pathetic form, she gives me a tender smile and sits on my bed.

Sighing, I move myself, lay my head on her lap and close my eyes.

"Nikhil just pities me." I finally blurt out my thoughts.

"Mhm?"

"Yeah, he thinks I'm easily manipulated."

"And?" She asks, stroking my hair.

"He keeps getting angry in Ved-related things. A lot." And I didn't stop there.

I speak out everything to my mother. My insecurities about Nikhil befriending me because I'm pathetic, my mixed feelings towards him, my reaction—or lack, thereof—to Ved's touches, my doubts about trusting Mia and I wanted to add how dad's extended work-period upset me, but I restrained myself since it might be a touchy subject for mom.

"So what are you going to do now?" She finally asked after I finished speaking.

"I don't know. And I never thought my Nikki would say that to me..."

"'Your' Nikki?" She asked amused.

My eyes shot open in realization and I saw my mom smiling down at me weirdly.

"I mean, m— my best friend..." I stutter and trail away.

"Did he apologize?"

"He was about to, but I stopped him...it was too late to take back what he said."

"It's never too late for anything."

"But he—"

"Oh baby, stop it. Are you looking for reasons to be angry with that boy?" My mom asks exasperatedly.

I stayed silent and she continued.

"In all honesty, I might ask you to make new girl friends, but that doesn't mean I want you to let go of Nikhil. That kid cares a lot. Who knows? He might have come here to talk to you about something that he was already upset about and you breaking the promise just fueled it up."

That makes me think about my actions.

But what he said equally upset me.

I let out a frustrated sigh and look at my mom helplessly.

"What do I do Ma?" I asked.

"Well, I'd say get some z's first. Then if you think you need time, take some and talk to him once you've had enough time. But talk to him okay?"

"'Kay." I mumble and close my eyes, relaxing into my mom's touch.

***

The next few days, I avoid Nikhil, even though he tries to get my attention—him shooting me longing glances at me and me returning them when he's not looking.

He hurt me, but he's still my Nikki.

My...best friend.

I have also gotten close with the HD twins and Mia while working for the Biology presentation posters but I still subconsciously keep my guard with Mia.