what if part II

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they did their best to move on.

daichi didn't move from his room for weeks. he only got up to use the bathroom and barf out his empty stomach. he didn't go to school. he didn't answer his phone. finally after a week and a half, ukai and takeda stopped by to check on him.

"daichi," he heard his mother call from the other side of the door,  "your coaches are here. can they come talk to you?"

daichi sat up and rubbed his eyes. he held one of suga's volleyball hoodies in his arms. suga has left it over the last time he was at daichi's. it became daichi's comfort item. it was all he really had of suga.

it was almost embarrassing.

hiding it under the blanket, he shuffled out of bed and unlocked the door, barely opening it. he stayed quiet and sat back down on his bed as the two entered his room.

they were oblivious.

"sawamura," ukai began to scold, "you can't just miss practice, but you especially can't skip school! what kind of example are you setting for your underclassmen? sugawara too. i should really suspend you both from the team. i cant believe you two would just go awol like that. both of you-"

takeda punched ukai in the arm, silencing him, pointing to daichi who had started to softly cry at the mention of suga's name. he hid his face in his knees and his body shook as he inhaled.

"sawamura?" takeda sat next to him and put a hand on his back, rubbing large circles in attempt to calm him down. ukai took his other side and frowned, not knowing how to comfort daichi.

"kid, what's wrong?"

ukai flinched when daichi just sobbed harder.

they let him cry in silence. when he calmed down, daichi tilted his face up and viciously rubbed his eyes. he was so tired. so upset. he wanted to scream, but his voice was gone, and he had already cried until he was out of tears. he felt like puking, but his throat burned at the thought.

"sawamura," takeda said, hesitantly, "please tell us what's wrong. you can talk to us."

daichi glanced over, and takeda got a good look at him for the first time in a little while. his eyes were bloodshot, and he was pale. he'd lost weight, and takeda looked past him to see an uneaten meal on his nightstand.

"sawamura?"

"koshi, suga, he's-" daichi choked on the words, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat, "gone."

takeda tilted his head, "gone?"

"do you mean-" ukai started before daichi interrupted him.

"he's dead."

takeda was taken aback, and ukai shouted, "what? you're kidding right?"

daichi's voice broke, "why would i joke about that?"

"daichi," takeda said as comfortingly as he could muster and hugged the captain, tears welling up in his own eyes. he looked at ukai, who already a few fall down his face. what was he supposed to say to that? 'it's okay?' no! it obviously wasn't. a nice, caring person with so much potential died suddenly, and takeda was left with more questions than answers. he asked hesitantly, "how?"

daichi mumbled, "it's my fault."

"what," ukai asked, confused.

"it was late. dark. i asked him to come over and-" daichi pulled himself away from takeda and curled himself back into a ball. he choked on a cry, "he got hit by a car. i knew it was late. i shouldn't have asked him to come. now he's gone and it's all my fault. he wouldn't have been out if i hadn't asked him to come. it's my fau-"

ukai cut him off, "no. it's not your fault. there's no way you could've known that that would happen."

"that doesn't make up for the fact that he's dead," daichi yelled harshly. the two coaches were silent. daichi huffed, upset at the world, upset at himself. he wanted to sleep. he hated being awake. he spoke in a much softer tone, "can you tell the team? i'm sorry. i can't. i can't do it. i'm sorry."

"okay, sawamura. if that's what you want," takeda answered whilst wiping his eyes. "are you gonna be okay?"

"no."

while takeda and ukai assumed that there was more than just friendship between the two, nothing cemented it like the utter pain they saw in daichi's eyes. he used to carry the karasuno boy's volleyball team on his back, but now he couldn't even carry himself.

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