Until We Meet Again (Sirius x OFC)

Part 2 - Chapter 32: Merry Christmas and an Unhappy New Year

A/N: *coughs* Um, hi. I know, I know, it's been aaaages. I'm so sorry for that but I'm alive and planning to finish this story. Firstly, thank you for loving it. It took off slowly but by now so many of you have read, liked and commented on here and it honestly makes me so happy!!! Your comments also made me crack up and laugh until my belly ached, so thanks for that I guess lol. I hope some of you are still here and didn't give up on me and my lazy ass. Now, we'll talk more later. For now, here is a new chapter and I hope you won't hate me for it... I hope I will get the hang of updating regularly again so you won't have to wait long.

*ducks away in fear of what's going to happen when I upload*

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Arthur had to stay in hospital over Christmas, but otherwise the holidays managed to lift our spirits. When the whole turmoil about the incident in the Ministry had subsided, we prepared the house. Molly urged me to help her, so I did. At first, I thought she wanted to distract me from the whole Hogwarts situation, but It turned out she wanted to talk to me... about Sirius.

"You know, I hope he will get better now that you're here," she said. "He's a ghost of himself most of the time. Drinks too much, I'm sure."

"He's drinking?" It shouldn't surprise me, considering that he had that bottle of Firewhiskey in our bedroom the night I came back. But it's still not something I had reckoned with.

"He doesn't let on, but I notice the missing bottles," Molly explained. "it's still moderate I'd say but I'm concerned anyway."

"Thanks for telling me," I replied, helping her hang up some garlands.

She gave me a sad smile. "I know this is not an easy situation for you. He missed you, but that's only a fraction of his problems."

"He wants to help," I said. "And he understands why he can't, but that doesn't make his struggle any easier."

"I hope you can help him, dear," Molly said. "It's unhealthy. He doesn't sleep, he's constantly in a bad mood."

I nodded. "Well, I hope I can take care of him."

"One more thing," Molly then said, before we headed to kitchen. "Don't forget to take care of yourself."

She was right. I didn't exactly feel great either, but Sirius was undoubtedly carrying a heavier burden at the moment. When you really love someone, you try to solve their problems before you fix your own, even if it's exhausting, because seeing them suffer is the worst thing in the world. It's not always healthy and sometimes being selfish would be the better option, but in my case, part of it even is selfish. I love Sirius and I can only truly be happy if he is happy. I want him and our old life back, and I know it's impossible but maybe we can get close once things get better. I just have to hold onto this belief.

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Christmas was a little beacon of hope in the midst of the mess that our lives were at the moment. But it was over as fast as it had come and the few happy days we all got to spend with each other were over before we had the chance to really make use of them. I noticed a quick change in Sirius, back to his now usual apathetic self. Now that I wasn't at Hogwarts anymore, I went on more and more missions for the Order and that must upset him as well. But as much as I wanted to console him... the missions and the stress took a toll on me and for some time I didn't realize what was happening.

I started to feel terrible. I barely slept, I had no energy after I came home from missions and whenever I needed Sirius to cheer me up, he wasn't there. He drank, he locked himself up with Buckbeak, he didn't show me any kind of affection anymore and often he didn't even spend the night in our room.