𝐭𝐦𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐱 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Requested by @Mikeyisadorable4

Title: Change

TW: Mentions of suicide and blood

I'm so tired. So, so tired. I was scared to go to sleep, though. Because I knew that if I did, I wouldn't wake up. So I sat in the bathtub, in the dark, wondering how long it was going to be. In movies, they don't show this part. The stinging, the crying, and the blood.

The stinging came and went. Sometimes it was only a dull ache, and then there would be a sudden blast of pain, my mouth opening to groan out my discomfort. In a split-second decision, I made a mistake as I reached up to slap a hand over my arm. I immediately screamed in pain and pulled my hand away, fingers shaking as I looked at all the blood that coated my palm.

I didn't want to die. No, I didn't want to die. Not today.

I attempted to sit up, but was weak from all the blood that was spilled against my body and the water that warmed my clammy skin. Reaching for my phone, I manage to dial a number and press call right before my limbs go numb and my head slams against the cold edge of the tub, darkness taking my hand to guide me home.

++++++++++

"Oh, (y/n) called me." Donnie says after reaching for his phone and turning the screen on. Leo leans forward and drops his head to his knees, resting, as he looks at Donnie.

"What'd she want? Did she text?" He asks, glancing at Mikey and Raph, who are wrestling on the floor behind them. Mikey manages to pin his brother, but success is short as Raph immediately takes chase after the smallest brother, growling with fake-fury.

"No, that's the weird thing. She hates calling, right? Well, she called me thirty minutes ago, no warning text or anything," Leo hums in thought, shaking his head as he smiles at his younger brothers that are now playing rock-paper-scissors.

"Should we check on her?" he asks, not looking away from where Raph has slammed his fist, in a 'rock' position, over Mikey's peace-sign. Mikey howls in pain and Raph smacks his forehead, sending him to the floor.

"Nah, I'll just text her. She's probably fine," Donnie sent a single 'you okay?' text and dropped his phone, walking over to join Leo on the couch. 

++++++++++

"It's been a few hours and she still hasn't answered. Should we just go over to her house? She should've answered by now." Leo whispers worriedly as he and Donnie stand in the middle of the latter's lab, huddled around his phone.

"Let me call her first, and if she doesn't answer, we'll go," Donnie mutters, already putting the phone on speaker. "C'mon, (y/n). Come on," he muttered over and over again, wishing the dialing sound would stop like the constant feeling of cold chills running down his back and neck.

"I'm sorry but the number-" Donnie smacks the end button and he reaches for his weapon and Leo starts towards the door. They make their way to the lair entrance, followed silently by their two brothers, wanting to know what was going on.

It took them ten minutes to get to her apartment, and another five to scale the building without being noticed by neighbors and people on the streets. Right away, they noticed all the lights were off, curtains drawn and sounds off. It took them two minutes to find the bathroom door; locked.

"Hello, (y/n)?" Donnie gently knocked on the door, noticing the lack of light and sound from behind the door. There was no sound.

"I'm breaking the door down," Leo said, turning to walk down the hallway.

"(Y/n), if you can hear me, step away from the door! Leo's going to break it down," Donnie sighed, taking a few steps away from the door as he turned to step away from the hallway. There, he noticed Raph and Mikey standing slightly behind the wall where Leo was leaning, out of the leader's sight. Quickly looking away, he ignored them, knowing they just wanted to make sure (y/n) was okay.

"Go," Leo muttered to himself, taking off towards the door. Ramming his shoulder at the wooden barrier, it quickly splintered and swung open, hitting the wall and then swinging closed again. Donnie, quickly leaping forward, grabbed the door and ushered his brothers forward, turning the light on. As they all leaned into the small room, Leo suddenly let out a scream as he saw what was sitting in the bathtub. Or, who.

Upon seeing (y/n)'s limp body and the blood that painted the floor and tub, Mikey's eyes widened. Right as he opened his mouth to scream, cry, or gasp, Raph pulled him away from the door and tackled him towards the living room, whispering random things to him.

"Hey, hey. Wanna help me feed Spike? Yeah? No, I won't let Ice-Cream Kitty get jealous. Yeah, let's go," he spoke, Mikey's shaky responses playing in-between. Finally, the window opened and closed as Mikey and Raph exited the apartment.

"What do we do? Donnie, what are we going to do?" Leo suddenly burst out, staring into (y/n)'s eyes as his words got more and more hysterical. Donnie just stared silently, looking for some sign of life. Then, silently, he strode forward and reached for (y/n)'s wrist, flinching slightly as he touched her cold flesh.

"No pulse," he said softly, gently putting her wrist back where it lay. Leo got onto his knees and sniffed quietly, smiling, as he gently ran his fingers over (y/n)'s naked shoulder. There was so much blood, the water was a deep pink; the girl's body covered by the clouded liquid.

"There's nothing we can do, right?" Leo asked, staring down at the girl with dry eyes. Donnie sighed and nodded, eyes downcast. Leo swallowed, standing back up. "We should call someone," Donnie nodded, reaching for his phone.

Leo started leaving the room just as the dialing tone ended, a voice echoing through the room.

"911; what's your emergency?" 

++++++++++

Life never was the same after (y/n)'s death.

Leo trained even fiercer, throwing himself intently into workouts. His temper got him into fights with Raphael more than usual; in fact, he was more Raphael than Raph himself. Raph had turned into a quiet and reserved teen, barely talking to anyone other than Spike. Donnie seemed to turn into Mikey, always out and distraciting himself with learning new things, whether that be music or speeding through the sewers in the Shellraiser. Mikey, dear Mikey, was the worst out of all of them. 

He was suddenly the best overnight.

"Mikey has the most potential," Splinter always said, and now it was true. Mikey was the fastest, strongest, and physically best brother now. He never laughed, joked, or even danced anymore.

None of them did.

They didn't know how. (Y/n) was their life, their light.

She was Leo's laughter, Donnie's heart, Raph's soul, and Mikey's happiness. Now, they had nothing but a tombstone and memories to commemorate her by.

They didn't even get to tell her how much they loved her. 

++++++++++

This isn't a usual oneshot but please, just remember someone may be suffering and you don't even know it.

i like listening to instrumentals while i write to focus and i picked everything works out in the end wtf