Inside Her Head S1

Entry#112 08-25-2020 (Yannie kun series)

Dear Lola,

I didn't wanna disturb you while you are hurt. I just wanted to state a fact, that I have feelings for you. And maybe I'm still confused of how I could go back to the start where it was just nothing. And if ever you're hurt again, I'm always here for you. Ready gihapon ko mu tambag without bias. Or maybe bias jud kos imu happiness. If mka feel ko nga pasakitan ra ka mu ana jd kog undangi na hahaha.

Don't you worry. Wa ko ma hurt nga wa ka mi angay nko. I understand right from the beginning nga amigo ra imu pan.aw nko. I didn't want you to like me back anyway. That was not the point why I confessed. Pero di sad ko mamakak nga wa nkoy na feel pra nimu. I think it would take me at least a year to get over an intense crush. I wanted to be honest so I could move forward from a past feeling.

I didn't simply liked you. I loved you. But my love for you is only on a level of a friend. I can't say I love you in a romantic way. Sa tinoud jud wa ko kiliga nimu. Which makes it so confusing. But on the times nga nagkauban ta as classmates/friends, I was genuinely happy.

Unconsciously happy.

And ganahan jd ko tig tambag2 nimu hahaha. Kay hopeless romantic biya ko. So kadto imu ko gitawagan adto'ng time nga manguyab kang Kathy, lipay kaau ko ato. hahaha. Gikilig ko ato. First time diay to nako nga naay mi tawag nko nga laki (except family). Unja baw dako kaau kog ngisi atong gabihun.na nga di mn unta ako ang gipanguyaban. 😅 In fact, murag akoy nanguyab hahaha.

Until now na libog pa ko. Do I really like you? Or was it all in my head?

Siguro sauna, oo.  karon, ambot lang, basin giganahan lng kog naay crush. Hahaha. Mano ing.ani mn ni? Mano libog man????  Do I really like you as a lover or was I just looking for a best friend? Sukad pa jd ni sauna. Mao nalipay kos fact nga wa ka kaangay nko. Of all people, I don't want to be the one who's gonna hurt you in the end.

Can we see each other kung maka-uli na ko? Can you help me settle my feelings? Or can we talk about it now, maskin sa phone lang?

I don't like this feeling lola.

I tend to overthink man gud. Mao gnahan nko ma wala na ni. Or at least ma clarify if naa bay chance magka-kita in the future. Kay basin the only reason why I still feel it, is the hope that maybe you'll like me back someday and this is just not the right time yet. Which is practically stupid of me.

But yeah, only fools fall. So call me a fool. 😉 Awst. Hahaha. Kanta bitaw na 🤣.

Ingna lng kog 0% jud kriz. Walay juy sparks. Walay chance mka angay ko nimu. I'm not your type. Please?

Cause it's hard to stop a feeling. Kay imbis nuon nga mag emote2 ko, na inspire pkog samot sa imu honest reply. Na buysit kos ako self. 😅🤣

Wa mn gd koy reason to hate you. I can only love you. Probably, you'll always be special. Kay you were a dear friend to me. And pwede ato'ng kabogan nang "walay forever"? Pwede ipamukha nato nga we can be friends forever? So naay forever diba. hahaha.

Friendship is a relationship. And friends can love each other without feeling anything romantic. I hope ma achieve na nato. Pwede mag friendship-goals nlng ta?

I think if magka sturya lng jd ta ug tarong. Mawa ra jd ni ako feelings. Cause one of the reasons why I'd confess to find closure to an unrequited feeling.

I do hope we'd get that talk.

Love you. Miss you. And take care always. I hope di ka stress. See you again, soon.

Love,
-Krizia@23

PS: Can't we just date each other and if we end up feeling nothing, then stay friends. Isn't that the first step? Getting to know each other better? Hahaha. Suggest ko lang. Diba ing.ana mn na mag start ang friendship?

Ikaw mn sad gd kay diretso kaau ka sauna. Ganahan kag uyabon ditso. Mao jd ako na realise nga usual mistake nimu. Da moves dayon ka sauna. Unja syempre ang bae ganahan jd na stay friends sa lang una kay most of us have trust-issues. Labi na ko. hahaha. Tips lang if naa na sad kay ma angayan sunod. Pero murag ming mature na mn sad ka karn. So proud of you. 😘