HEATHEN

13.

Heathen.

I watched him as he curled closer to me, his warmth was inviting and his body had a perfect fit with mine, I felt content holding him as he slept.

Nights like this one I usually don't get much sleep but tonight instead of sleeping for two hours, I slept for seven, what woke me up wasn't the nightmares, it was Aries who was having nightmares.

I couldn't make out the words he said but I knew it was horrible, the way he cried, the way he seemed afraid, I felt helpless just watching him shake and cry yet not wake from his sleep.

I pulled him closer hoping he would sleep but that only worked momentarily as now he had begun shaking again, I knew it was only a matter of time before he woke up.

"Shh I'm here, it's okay baby. I've got you." His eyes fluttered open as they did so he wrapped his arms around my neck and cried, I held him close so that he could let it out.

I could say something to him and stop him from crying but that would be closing a hole to reserve it for later where it will burst more fiercely, so that's why I had just held him.

I didn't know why he was so shaken up, I wanted to find out but then it would bring back what he had dreamt and that wouldn't be good for him.

"I'm sorry I ruined your sleep." He mumbled and I stood up with him in my arms and headed downstairs for the kitchen. When we got there I sat him down on the stool.

I grabbed two spoons, a tub of ice cream, waffles and Nutella, I mix the ice cream and Nutella, place it on top of the waffle. It was the best comfort food I could think of.

He sniffles and I pick him up again placing him on my lap. Wordlessly he ate the dessert and so did I. I knew he would tell me what it was when he was ready so I didn't pressure him into telling me what was wrong.

As someone who has nightmares I knew they lingered even after you woke up, they would still be fresh in your mind, the slightest trigger could pull you back in if you were to dream of painful moments.

And painful moments were not meant to be relived countless times, they cause immense pain and depression, I had gone through it, I knew.

Aries ate slowly sniffling, he was strong physically and mentally but to have him act that way baffled me, I had no idea anything could've hurt him like that, then again I had never taken time to know Aries's past.

I was okay with the Aries I had known since he came to Sydney Falls, I wasn't interested in his past because it didn't define him, now I felt guilty for not doing anything to know more about him.

Maybe I could've handled this situation better. "Stop beating yourself up for no reason." I hadn't realized I had stopped eating and Aries was looking at me with flushed cheeks.

I looked at him and he knew what I wanted to say. If I had known I would've been better able to help him. "You couldn't have known if I hadn't told you, no one knows my past and I keep it that way, but being with you I don't see that as an option no more, I can't keep secrets." I nod and he sighs.

I knew this was hard for him and I didn't want him to tell me if he couldn't. He read me as always. "Let me tell you now when I can because I know if I don't, I will never have the courage to tell you again." I nod to him and wait for him.

I wanted to know badly but I wasn't going to pressure him into doing it, it was his decision to tell me or not and so I would wait.

Aries shifts on my lap and faces me a little bit more, he was no longer shaking and he seemed to have calmed down, the comfort food always did help after nightmares.

"Paxton Rollan was my mate." When he uttered the statement my mind began to recall the name, Rollan was the alpha of the Drephair Pack, they were past North City, rather well past Arkos City on the other side of the country.

"It's baffling I know." He chuckles bitterly. The Drephair Pack in the old days was the first to incorporate humans and same sex mateships.

The alphas and elders didn't believe in humans interacting with wolves therefore would cut the ties to a wolf if he were to be mated with a human or another male.

The Drephair Pack changed this, it's how they were well known. I wondered why Paxton would do that and also how far Aries had traveled to be in my arms. I found a new sense of pride for him, he was strong.

But why. "He didn't want me when we found out we were mates, he kept me hidden, preoccupied, so I wouldn't know he was marrying the love of his life,  a human girl he had known for a long time who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with." Aries croaked and I hugged him.

I knew his pain, I could relate to it in way. "The night I found out, he had rejected the bond already, the words only sealed it but that wasn't the worst part." I knew this part was horrible, this was the one thing that broke Aries, I could feel it.

He exhales sharply. "I rejected him and he accepted, he left me with two wolves they were supposed to help me leave since their alpha didn't want his former mate hanging around the pack, I won't go into detail but they had their way with me, I tried to fight back Heathen I tried so hard but I wasn't strong enough." I could feel his tears on my neck.

This had been truly horrible for Aries and I was beyond furious, I wanted to find the wolves who did that to him and remove their heads, how could they do that to a wolf, one of their own, it was disgusting.

I truly felt sorry for Aries, I had gone through what he had and it wasn't a journey one could survive easily, I knew now the source of his nightmares just like mine.

"I'm so sorry, but you're here now and safe with me." I console him, rubbing his back gently. After he calmed down, he settled on my lap again.

"When they were done, they left without a word and I was glad because I didn't want another memory of them, I packed everything and in the night I left. I didn't tell my grandmother why I left but somehow she knew and told me to go find myself." He sniffled wiping tears away.

"Oh Goddess I miss that woman, after I left I traveled for a long time until I decided to settle here." He smiled a little. I wanted to know what happened to his grandmother was she still with the pack.

"My grandmother died two years ago, I attended the funeral and killed the wolves who did that to me. It didn't make me feel better, vengeance never really does." He chuckled bitterly but I was glad he killed those wolves if he hadn't I would've hunted them down.

"That's about it, my darkest secret comes to light." It was slightly amusing watching him unsure of himself, he thought I wouldn't want him because of what happened to him but he was wrong.

Knowing this truth didn't change anything for me it only made me want him more and I would show him every day that all I wanted was him.

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LMJ