how can i be sure of you

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a/n hey friends! hope you enjoy!


21.

We stop at a nearby salon, nothing fancy, nothing he's associated with. I really just pulled directions for the first hair salon to come up on google maps. He waits for me awkwardly in the lobby, while I laugh and get to know the stylist.

"What are we doing today?" He runs his hands excitedly through my hair. He had already spent five minutes fawning over my color.

"Going blonde again," I smile.

The whole ordeal takes two or three hours because the blue is so vibrant, but finally it looks exactly how I wanted it to. I grin at myself in the mirror, my hair is blonde and has slowly grown out over these past couple of months to shoulder length. They style it, and I get up out of the chair and make my way over to Harry in the lobby.

He's slumped down in a chair, his nose in his phone, a hand pushed up in his hair to hold it back, but when he hears footsteps he quickly glances up. His face immediately morphs into a huge grin.

"Hey stranger," he laughs. I run my hand through my hair, I can't help myself. Then he gets a little more serious, his eyes soften. "Feel better?" He murmurs.

"It feels fresh, and clean," I decide and nod. This is what I needed to do. The strange feeling of panic that was starting to creep over me has subsided again.

We go to the front desk to pay, and he takes a photo with a few of the receptionists who had their eye on him. Then we head back out to the car.

"Does that ever get annoying?" I ask as we walk back out through the front door. He squints in the sunlight and knocks his sunglasses down from his hair to the bridge of his nose.

"What?"

"I feel like you've been spotted a lot today. And you have to stop and take pictures with people and talk to them. It's just, it feels like a lot today, don't you think?"

He laughs and looks around the parking lot, forgetting where we left the car. "You've got to think about it differently."

"How so?" I see a sliver of bright yellow and begin heading in that direction. He follows.

"This is the first and probably only time they're ever going to meet me. Sure, I might meet ten fans in a day, but they only meet me once. They mean so much to me, and I mean so much to them. To ruin that interaction for them, just because it happens more than once for me, that feels cruel."

"But you're also a human being," I remind him. "And it's okay to be exhausted and take care of yourself. It's okay to take a moment where you make yourself happy, instead of everyone else."

He pauses, his eyebrows knit together. I seize the opportunity to snatch the keys from him and slide across the hood of the car, claiming the driver's seat. "Hey," he calls out playfully.

"The next destination is a surprise."

We climb into the car and I back out of the parking lot, getting back onto the road and then eventually the highway. Harry's silent for a bit, but finally he speaks up.

"You're right," he mumbles. "It's okay for me to put myself first sometimes, but it's, well it's a fine line."

"How so," I keep my eyes trained on the road.

"Well my position is very unique," he speaks slowly, making sure each word is exactly what he means. "It's my job, as a singer and performer, an entertainer, to make others happy. When I leave the house I'm human, but I'm also a symbol for a lot of people. My career would never have happened if it wasn't for them, and it wouldn't continue if it wasn't for their support. I don't think it's fair to them to not show how grateful I am. And I can do that through giving them something, and that thing just so happens to be a moment with me."

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