Dear Spencer Reid | 1

37. words hurt

T.W: mention/description of self harm and suicide. Do not feel obligated to continue this chapter if you are uncomfortable with such topics.

A dainty ring of some sort rested on the leather cushion, as if it had slipped from Spencer's pocket.

Ohhh... Fuck.

—
Was that.. An engagement ring?

No. No... Not now. You couldn't deal with that.

Spencer was the love of your life, but..But you couldn't get married! The FBI isn't for married people. You loved Hotch, but you didn't want to end up like Haley.. Who was..

Well, dead.

There were far too many things that needed to be discussed.. And you weren't prepared at all.

He knows you. He knows you wouldn't say yes.

"So why is he doing it?" You spoke aloud, jumping in your seat as the driver's side door opened.

"Hey princess. Have any fun without me?" Spencer teased, oblivious to the ring sitting on the car seat as his leg rested over it, covering it up again.

You grimaced momentarily, and turned your lips in a smile as you angled yourself towards him. "No fun here. I was just waiting for you to come back."

Spencer nodded for a moment, and hesitated as he reached to turn the key in the ignition.

"Y/n."

You looked up from your fingers, which you were subconsciously picking at. "Hm?"

He leaned closer and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "Nothing. I just wanted to kiss you."

"Oh, then I'm fine with that." You reached for his chin and grasped it with your thumb and index finger, angling his face down so you could kiss his lips.

You wanted to keep kissing him... Keep holding him.. But he was literally sitting on a wedding ring.

He was probably thinking about it for a while... Getting you a ring. And you were going to mess it all up.

Dammit. Why can't you just let yourself be happy for once?

You leaned back into your seat and sighed. "We should probably head back to the hotel in LA so we can get some sleep."

Spencer was surprised at your dismissive nature, but didn't question you. He started the car up and put it in reverse, backing out of the parking space. The ride back to the hotel wasn't anything eventful, to be honest. A lot of silence accompanied you two, besides some brief conversations about work. Spencer knew you weren't acting like yourself. If he ever was driving you somewhere, you would always put a hand on his thigh or knee at some point of the drive. You didn't do it this time.

You couldn't bring yourself to place your hand above the ring.

You and Spencer returned to the hotel later in the evening, and ordered room service for dinner. Again, this wasn't like you. You always wanted to go out and get dressed up. Spencer almost spoke up at the mentioning of you putting on some sweatpants while you waited for the room service. Instead, he kept it to himself. You tried to act normal, but this situation was anything but.

What if he just whipped out the ring right then and there?! You simply couldn't go out tonight. The plan was to eat some room service, sleep, and then get up at the ass crack of dawn to board the flight back to Virginia. No proposals, no rings, no sex. Definitely no sex.

God, he was going to think you had gone insane.

You walked out of the bathroom after removing your light makeup and changing. You wore one of Spencer's graphic tee's, and short pajama shorts, which displayed a generous amount of ass. You completed the look with mismatched socks. You had subconsciously began switching around your socks after Spencer started living with you.