Hundred Eighteen

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Benjamin and Noah were upstairs in Noah's bedroom, cuddled up. Benjamin pulls away from their kiss. Noah looks up at him, running his hand up Benjamin's thigh.

"What's wrong, baby?"

Benjamin shrugs and sits up. "Should I read the note?"

Noah sits up as well. "Well, do you want to?"

Benjamin shakes his head and shrugs. "I don't know."

"How about...I read it?"

Benjamin nods. "Okay." He turns away from Noah to grab the note from his backpack.

Noah grabs it and unfolds it before looking back to up Benjamin. "Promise me one thing, bebesita."

Benjamin looks up at nods. "Okay. What?"

"Promise me, you won't get crazy over this. You're so kind, it's one of thing I love about you a lot but you get kinda possessive and you're way too forgiving."

Benjamin blushes and nods.

"I'm just saying, please don't immediately go the forgiving route. I know how much Kiara meant to you but she's also the main reason you felt the way you did."

"I promise."

Noah nods and looks down at the note, licking his lips.

"hey, benjamin. i'm writing this note so you have a sincere apology. i would try texting and calling but you've blocked me on everything and i don't think you'd enjoy me showing up to your house uninvited-"

Benjamin scoffs and rolls his eyes. "As if that's stopped you before."

"i don't really know where to start. most of my actions were influenced by zoē which i know isn't an excuse. you were my best friend...my gay best friend who i would stand up to, to any homophobic bully. i was going through so much, it's hard to explain. i don't know who i am and i guess i was angry-"

Benjamin looks up at Noah. "That explains literally nothing."

"bullying you was the worst thing i could've done. seeing how much your mentality went to shit because of me. i liked the adrenaline rush of feeling worthy. i know that sounds wrong but it's true. my love for you is still here. i meant no harm but i was caught up in the moment. zoē and katen would tell me what to do and what to say. and zoē showed me how close of friends we could get i was scared of losing her too, after jackson and caleb. i needed someone. a light in a dark corner but i turned to the wrong person and i'm so sorry. i hope one day we can forget this happened. i would also like to say that...i'm sorry for choosing zoē over you. i know we grew up together. i know it sucks and i'm sorry. i wish i could take it back. but you know i had just gotten over a breakup and i...i had a meltdown. i couldn't control myself. i was stupid and childish but what's done is done. i'm so sorry. at least you have noah and all your friends now."

Noah looks up at him. "That's it."

Benjamin shakes his head. "That's so fucking stupid. I can't believe she wrote that and thought it was a good idea. What the fuck is her problem."

Noah places his hand on Benjamin's thigh. Benjamin looks down at it, shaking his head again. "Can you give me a second? I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

Noah nods and watches as Benjamin gets off the bed, walking out of the room into the bathroom.

Noah grabs the note, scanning over again. He gets off the bed, going to the bathroom to check on Benjamin. He grabs the door handle, twisting it but it's locked. He knocks on the door, leaning his head against it.

"Bebesita? Are you okay?"

Benjamin sniffs and nods. "I'm fine."

"Bebe? Are you crying? Open up, bebesita. It's okay. I know it's overwhelming."

Benjamin unlocks the door, wiping his face with his sleeve. Noah looks down at him, frowning. "It's okay, baby."

Benjamin leans in and hugs him. "It's so frustrating."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry they keep bothering you. It's okay, remember? You know how much you've improved?"

Benjamin pulls away and wipes his face. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. It's just annoying."

Noah smiles and reaches his hands up to wipes the tears from Benjamin's face. "It's okay, my bebesita. You're allowed to cry."

Benjamin nods and leans back in to hug him.

**
Benjamin was up in his room, reading over the note again. He shakes his head and sets it down in the bed, running his fingers through his hair.

Ms.Evans knocks on the door, smiling. "Hey, sweetheart. I made some brownies."

Benjamin looks up and nods. He wipes his face and looks away.

"Hey...What's wrong? Something happen at school?"

Benjamin grabs the note, holding it out for his mom to read. "Kiara wrote me a note and played the victim the entire time. Basically blamed what she did on me on her 'having a meltdown'."

Ms.Evans shakes her head, sitting down on the bed next to Benjamin. "Can I read it?"

"Yeah."

Ms.Evans looks down at the note, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Benny. Why're you crying, though?"

Benjamin shrugs. "It's just upsetting I guess. She can't just take accountability? I can't stand it."

Ms.Evans frowns and throws an arm around Benjamin's shoulders. "I know, baby. It's hard. You guys grew up together and she had a total personality change. But, you've grown so far, you hear me? I'm so proud of you."

Benjamin nods and wipes under his nose.

"And I get it, how much it hurts. Having to go through this. But I want you to keep being the person you wanna be. Even if someone doesn't like it, because it makes you happy. And you've got such good people surrounding you, you know that?"

Benjamin nods his head again, now leaning against his mother's shoulder.

"Don't let them push you back under. You are so much more then what they perceive you as. You're so smart and extremely kind and talented, and most of all, you're yourself and that's all you need."

Benjamin looks up at his mom and nods. "Thank you."

"Of course, baby. If you ever need to talk, I'm here, okay?"

Benjamin nods and smiles. "Okay. Thanks, mom...I really needed that."

Ms.Evans reaches out to wipes the tears off his face. "No more crying, bub. Come on, let's go eat some brownies."

Benjamin smiles and leans in to hug her. "I love you, mom."

"I love you too, my sweet boy."

Johnathan watches from the hallway and frowns. He looks away from them and walks downstairs.

**

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