Breathe Again

20: We Need To Talk

Author's Note: Just a head's up that this is going to be 25 chapters total we're in the home stretch now guys!

Liam is in the shower and Isaac is laying on the bed waiting for him to be done so the two of them can head out for the day. The graveyard somehow feels a lifetime away but Isaac can still feel the comforting strength of Liam's arms around him. It's strange, this ghost touch, and how weird it feels to feel this way about a friend. It makes Isaac's feelings feel even more complicated and he's not quite sure how to process all of his emotions. He feels like this week has sent his heart and his brain through the emotional wringer and he needs a long nap before he can handle anything else.

He smiles as he can hear Liam singing in the shower through the bathroom door. Liam who is always so carefree and happy, who somehow feels like everything that Isaac needs. Isaac isn't sure how to explain how well they seem to fit together, Liam is bold where Isaac is shy, is confident when Isaac doesn't know how to be. They feel like polar opposites but they work so well together, Isaac knows that he can always rely on Liam to make up for what he is missing. Together, they're somehow complete, bringing something that the other can't quite provide.

The buzz of Liam's phone beside him is enough to shake Isaac out of his thoughts. Isaac knows he shouldn't look, but curiosity gets the better of him and he's never claimed to be a perfect person. Besides Liam and he are so close, they don't really keep secrets from each other, especially not anymore. It's likely just Daniel or Jonah sending some terrible meme, or asking Liam to settle one of the stupid disagreements they have like whether Luigi or Princess Peach would win in a fight.

Instantly Isaac regrets looking.

Penny: Liam. We need to talk. ASAP. Call me.

Isaac feels guilt and disappointment curdle in his stomach like sour milk. Throughout the trip Penny has drifted in and out of his thoughts, when Liam is pressed so close against him, when he thinks everything might work perfectly he somehow always forgets to factor Penny into the equation. But then there are reminders like this and they send Isaac into a spiral of shame, shame that he could be entertaining the idea of a relationship with someone who's already taken. And there's a little bit of anger under the surface as well, the idea that Liam has been leading him along all this time. Liam kissed him and there's no way he doesn't know how Isaac feels, and Liam must know there's no way that this situation can possibly work out. The whole thing makes Isaac feel like a fool, like he must be an idiot for going along with this.

Liam steps out of the bathroom and Isaac feels his breath hitch. This somehow feels like all he's ever wanted and all he's been trying to avoid for the past eighteen years. Isaac realises that it is an inevitability that he is going to end up heartbroken.

"Hey," Liam says quietly.

His hair is still wet and sticking up in all directions, he's pulled on a pair of boxers and nothing else, and Isaac just wants to pull him close. He wants to allow himself to have everything it feels like he's ever wanted. He forces himself to keep his distance though, tries to force his focus to stay on Liam's face and not let his gaze linger anywhere else. It's hard though, and Liam is moving towards him and Isaac is overwhelmed by the feeling that he needs to run, needs to get away from here and go somewhere else. Somewhere where this whole week never happened and he doesn't have the memory of Liam's lips against his to haunt him.

"Hey," Liam repeats when Isaac doesn't say anything, "I think we need to talk."

Isaac pauses wonders what the best course of action is. He's not sure he can face the talk, not sure he can face everything he knows is true being forced out into the open. He doesn't want to admit to the feelings he has, and he doesn't want to be told that they're pointless. Him and Liam were never an option because Penny was always waiting in the wings, ready to sweep Liam off his feet and take him away. Isaac feels sorry for her, Liam clearly doesn't care that much if he was willing to kiss Isaac.