A Hater's Gamble (BxB)

ONE

"If we only die once, I want to die with you."

M I L E S

If only she brought a sweater.

If only she brought a sweater, then I wouldn't have had to give her mine. My sister and I were walking in the cold of the night, when even the crickets took their rest. Most nights we took a stroll around the neighborhood to enjoy the emptiness, this night was not any different. The night felt empty; still. It was comforting.

"You're not fooling anyone," Maddie whispered, pulling my sweater tighter around her.

I rubbed warmth into my arms. "About what?," I asked. My tone resembled the night, empty.

"It's dark," she said. "But I can still see them."

The bruises. They weren't exactly prominent, but it would take a fool to miss them.

I looked ahead, shoving my hands into my pockets instead. "Worry about yourself, not me."

My sister turned to me, making me halt in my steps. "You can't say that, Miles. I'm your big sister, I'm supposed to make sure you're okay."

I avoided her face as silence preceded us. I had nothing to say. The boys in school had been at this since the middle of ninth grade—now I was in eleventh grade. Bruises weren't new to me.

"You can't tell mom," I said softly. "Mads, please."

My sister, Maddie, was a year above me. She was also a girl who was notably shorter than me, which meant that she had no place protecting me from my predicaments at school. Maddie had gotten busy with student council duties and preparing for college, so, naturally, she'd stopped worrying about her little brother.

I didn't blame her, I welcomed the blind eye she turned to my affairs at school. I could plant my feet and face the roaring wind alone. I didn't need her help for that, even if our hearts pumped the same blood.

Maddie nodded, turning her face away from me. "Okay," she whispered. "I won't. It's not like it'd be news to her anyway."

It was silence the way back to the house. When I crawled into bed, the nightmares began, the ones that I hid from Maddie.

                                   •••••••••••••••••

Maddie bobbed her head along to the music that was playing on the radio. She was driving us to school.

"Okay," Maddie turned to me briefly. "Pop quiz; what's today?"

I gave her a questioning glance. "It's Tuesday."

Maddie rolled her brown eyes. "Yes, genius, I'm aware. I meant, what's the plan for today? C'mon I told you this a couple of days ago."

The plan? Maddie liked to be dramatic, there was no plan, only an agenda.

"Club meeting?," I asked hesitantly.

Maddie grinned. "Yeah! You remembered. That means you have to walk home today." She turned to me with sparkle in her eyes. "Or are you interested in becoming a member of my anatomy club?"

I scoffed and shook my head. "Not interested in slicing open a cat."

Maddie sighed. "Fine. I guess I can't make you."

Maddie pulled into our school parking lot and unbuckled her seatbelt. She turned to me with a soft look in her eyes.

I looked away. "Don't," I whispered.

She grabbed my hand. "I'm worried about you, Miles."

I eased my hand out of hers and unbuckled my seatbelt. "There's nothing to worry about, Mads," I was out of the car before she could say anything else.

Maddie was accustomed to fixing. She preferred things to be perfect. There were two things she couldn't fix, though: my mom, a functioning addict, and me, her bullied little brother. I didn't want her to try anymore. I didn't want to try anymore. I'd already accepted it, deserved it, even.

I looked cautiously around me before pulling my hood over my head.

Clear.

As I looked around the crowded school hallway, I hoped to come across Grace. She was known for lifting my spirits. Her smile was my favorite.

I felt my hood draw back harshly and I tensed, thinking I'd turn around and meet them. To my relief, it was Grace. Her curly hair was tied in a careless ponytail and her lips were set in an easy smile.

"You don't have to wear that hood inside, you know," she sighed. "He's not here today. In fact, they're all not. Ditching, according to Diego."

I smiled halfheartedly at her.

Diego, one of them, was Grace's brother. He was also seen as second in command to him. I didn't like to say his name. Everything about him made me cower. I deserved to cower, though, for what I did.

She nudged me lightly. "You okay?," she asked, her chocolate eyes were soft, just how my sister's had been earlier. "Is your mom okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," I assured, running a hand through my hair. "I'm fine, she's fine. Everything's fine."

Grace gave me a knowing look and hooked her arm through mine. "Miles, if you want to lie, at least do it right," she said as she led me down the boisterous hallway.

I looked down at her and sighed, trying my best to appear exhausted—which was not hard. "I'm okay, really. I'm just tired, and I didn't eat breakfast this morning."

She unhooked her arm from mine and reached into her bag to retrieve something. A Nature Valley granola bar. I gave her a smug smile. "Did you bring this just for me, an undeserving best friend?"

A blush mingled on Grace's tan complexion as she shrugged. "Maybe I knew you'd forget to eat." She pulled out her chapstick and put some on her lips, then waved me goodbye.

I took a bite of the granola bar and watched as Grace walked to her first class.

"Grace!," I called impulsively. A few stares whipped toward me at the sudden outburst, while Grace turned back to me with puzzlement. I lifted up the granola bar with a smile. "Thank you," I called from across the hallway.

Her smile was back on her face. "Always."

I finished my granola bar and threw away the wrapper, feeling relieved at the fact that I didn't have to look over my shoulder. At least not today.