Taming the Street Racer ✔️

65 | beautiful eyes

Everything is slow. Painful.

It hurts to keep hanging on, but I pull myself out from under oblivion. I have no idea how long I've been floating, unaware of anything.

I'm suspended somewhere. Darkness surrounds me, but my head is filled with nothing but light. Nondescript, white haze. A void.

I'm lost.

Voices reach toward me, too far away to take hold of. Unfamiliar. Deep.

"It's . . . matter of time . . . before she . . ."

The pain is overwhelming.

" . . . recommend . . . spend time . . . while . . .  still can . . . "

I fight to open my eyelids, and my eyes water at the bright lights around me. Stark and sterile. I'm in a hospital, and there's a pillow beneath my head. Too soft against the pounding beneath my skull.

My brain throbs, and I shut my eyes again. Tears brim my eyes. I can't think.

When I open them again, I'm drowned in the mixture of light and darkness. A beautiful vision of grey. Grey eyes watch me carefully, tearfully.

Hopefully.

There's someone sitting next to my bed, and he's in pain. More pain than I'm in. My mind turns to recall his name, but the white haze thickens and dampens my attempts. I stare at him, at the sadness plaguing his severe features.

"Hey," I whisper, and I wince as the tubes in my nose scratch my throat. This unfamiliar man is crying, and my heart breaks at the sight. I don't know why. All I know is that I don't want him to be sad. "Hey, don't cry."

I want to take this stranger's pain and add it to my own. The aches in my head and body are mind-numbing, but something tells me that I'd be okay with doubling those sensations. For him.

Don't cry. I'm sorry. What'd I do to you?

But my mouth is too dry now, and I don't want to hurt him even more. Years of tears and grief are etched into his expression, and he looks all too vulnerable.

It's a strange urge, but I raise my hand to wipe his tears with my thumb. His face is soft, so beautiful. So tortured.

Why are you so sad?

He wraps his hand around my thin wrist and smooths his thumb over the bruised skin. This moment is new to me, to my weakened mind, yet it feels so familiar. His eyes hold a shocking love as they gaze at me, and I don't understand. He loves me. Somehow I know this matters to me. To me.

Who am I?

My name floats toward me, a singular memory in an ocean of blankness. "I'm River," I say quietly, suddenly wanting to know who this sad man is. Why is he crying for me? "Who are . . . "

More tears come as I realize that I can't answer those questions. I can't answer anything, and I'm being pulled back under. I feel the darkness coming again, stronger this time, and I don't have much time with him.

Don't let me leave you.

This time, he's the one to stroke my cheek with his thumb, gathering my small tears. His touch is so tender, so soft. I should remember this.

His face moves closer until his forehead is resting against mine. The shooting pain dulls for a moment as I feel him breathing, and I shut my eyes.

But in my chest, in the midst of my aching pain, I feel something. Something that reflects the emotion swimming in those beautiful eyes of his.

Something has gone wrong. I once knew those eyes. I should know those eyes and the man behind them.

I try so hard, but everything is blank.

"I know who you are, Riv," he says, smiling lightly at me through his obvious pain. He shouldn't be so sad. His large hand moves gently from my cheek to my chin, and I flinch back, surprised by the intimate gesture.

But my movements are slow and difficult. Something is tugging me back into the unknown.

I see more pain flash across his face as I wince away from him. I've hurt him, and I didn't mean to. I want to take it back, to let him touch me, but the moment is gone. Lost to the haze.

I'm fading again. It's so hard to fight, but his eyes holding onto me. If he lets go, I'm not sure I'll ever come back.

Please forgive me.

My eyelids are so heavy. My body feels so weak like everything is slowly draining out of me. Memories, energy, emotions. Life. "I don't . . . I do . . . who . . . who are . . . ?"

I try hard to keep them open, trained on this person that loves me, but my eyelids start to fall. A strange sound strangles out of him. He's still so sad, and yet I'm going to leave him.

I have so little right now, but I put it all toward staying with him. If just for a few more seconds.

"It's okay, baby," he chokes out, holding my wrist tighter. His hand is still on my cheek, but I barely feel it. I barely feel anything. "You can close your eyes. It's okay. Don't worry about me. You can let go."

He says something else, but I'm already leaving. Not leaving. Falling.

The last thread breaks. And not even he can save me.

"I love you," a voice in the distance says, slicing through the void. It's moving further and further away from me. I want to grab hold of the voice, its tender truth, but I'm so tired. Empty. And he said he'd be okay.

I love you too, grey eyes. I know I do.

Grey eyes. Grey . . .

Gray.

I smile, adding his name to the few things I know, and I take them with me. Wherever I go, however far I fall, Gray loves me.

The unknown surrounds me, and I can finally relax.

I'm River, and Gray loves me.

That feels like enough for me.

What a beautiful life I must've lived, I think. With him.

Then the white haze around me grows larger and wider until its bright light is all I see.

♔

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