Chapter 6: Alice

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I was flushed, Scarlett had found me out with George. Oh how embarrassed I am, she must think of me so much more lowly now. Even though those thoughts were running through my head I was more focused on the events that unfolded with George. He waltzed with me, my first real waltz. I check the time on my watch, 23:00pm. I decided to go out on a walk since I wasn't tired due to all the adrenaline. It was a chilly November night but I decided to go out to the gardens of the winter palace.

I went to my room to get my coat. I wasn't used to the Russian weather, it was already snowing. I got my winter coat and put on my winter boots. I prayed to not run into any high ranking men with their mistresses since this was the perfect time at night to meet. I stroll down the hallway, looking at the portraits of past russian Tsars. I stopped to look at Peter the Great. He looked very serious but was considered a genius, reforming Russia to a better country. I hope that Alix's Nicky will be remembered the same way.

"I finally found you."

"Hello George,"I greet, already feeling my face glow pink. By the end of the night my face will probably stay pink forever. "I think that we were in the middle of a conversation before we got rudely interrupted."he slyly smiled. "Hm, let me recall! Your Mama was looking for you, a mother's boy you are?" Now I was the one with a sly smile on my face. George was taken aback, "She can be too much sometimes. I am afraid she is one of the many reasons why I can't find myself a wife."

"An over protective mother? Hm, come outside with me, maybe we will find an adventure out there that she can't interrupt." I suggest. George's face lights up at my idea, "I will have to get my coat, come with me."he takes me by my hand and leads me to a separate part of the palace that I have never been to. He stops in front of two large French doors. He opens them, taking me with him. I observe the room, there was one bed with a night stand, there was George's family picture. "I-Is this your room?"I stutter, turning around to see George having taken off his ceremony coat and had just a plain white button up shirt on, revealing his muscular self.

"Yes,"he answers. "T-this is very scandalous of us," I begin to panic. What if someone saw us? What rumors would they spread about me? George chuckles at me, "Relax my dearest, ignore the rules for once, as you said, this is an adventure." He put his hands into mine. We stare at each other for a moment, leaning closer and closer. I knew he was staring at my lips and I took no offense to that because I was looking at his, What harm will be done if we break the rules for one night?

Our lips were barely a centimeter apart, he had his hands placed on my waist. We were so close until he pulled away. "I-I should get my coat,"is all he said. Did I do something wrong? Did he change his mind about me? Was I not what he was looking for? Once George got his winter attire on, we left for the gardens. Our walk to the gardens was silent. Once we got to the outside I felt the cold air pinch my cheeks.

We walk around in silence until George spoke up, "Weren't we supposed to do something adventurous?" I keep my gaze away from him, "It is too cold for an adventure,"I mutter, while freezing through my best winter close. "I don't know how you survive winters in Russia."I comment, hugging myself for warmth. "You are cold?"he asks, seeming surprised. "Freezing,"I shiver. I feel him wrap his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. "I hope this helps you warm up a bit."he says gently.

I pull away from him, "I am fine on my own." Why would he want me around if clearly he doesn't like me. I check my fogged watch, it was midnight. "I best to get going, goodbye Grand Duke George Alexandrovich," I tell him with a hint of bitterness "Alice wait-," he starts but I was already running to the indoors. It is so cold I w
am sure that both my hands and feet would freeze off. As I walk to my room, I notice Scarlett. I quickly hide behind a corner and watch as she was laughing at something. I looked closer and saw that it was a man, our cousin George from England. They walk off somewhere and the coast is clear, I run to my room as silently as I can.

Once I got there I take off my winter clothing and collapse onto my bed. What a night, Russia was clearly something. Its lovely here but I do miss Germany. I miss my Papa dearly. I especially miss Victoria. I push my thoughts away. I didn't want to think about her, I miss her too much and now she is dead, six feet under the cold ground buried near Alix's mother and sister, and Scarlett's mother. The only person in the world that cared for me, I was the center of her world and she was the center of mine, my best friend.

My mother was 43 when I was born. I was a surprise for everyone. All of my siblings were in their twenties and late teens, starting their own families and here I came. I was named after Alix's mother due to the fact that she was good friends with mine. I was not even a month old when my mother had lost her patience and strength so she handed me off to a governess. She always tells me it was for my and her own good. Victoria was my eldest sister, she was very mother like towards me.

She took me with her everywhere, she raised me. When diphtheria swept through court she got it. She was so ill that I was not allowed to see her, I never got to say goodbye. I was drawing her a get well soon card  with her and me on the cover when they announced her death to me. I never got to tell her how much of a mother she was to me or much I loved her. She died alone without a husband without me by her side.

I crawl under the covers of my bed. My eyes grow heavy as I swear to myself that I would never hurt my future children as the way my mother hurt me.

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