43. L U C Y

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Christmas Day was here. I don't think I had ever been this excited before. As a child, the only thing I wished for was my parents. I wanted the two supposedly important people to me to be there on Christmas Day, watch me open my presents, and share the magic with me. Once I turned eight and realised that Santa didn't exist, it made the heartache worse. They didn't love me enough to want to picture my face when I opened presents they brought. So instead, grandma did. She brought all my presents and saw my face each year up until she died. But this year, I was about to witness my little girl. Whether she was weeks old or not, she was going to open her first present on Christmas Day with both her mummy and daddy.

"It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" I yelled with excitement, turning to Bax but to find the other side empty.

"Oh." I sighed. I wanted so bad to wake up with him here. Just one year where someone special was there that wasn't Avery.

I reluctantly climbed out of bed, the excitement completely gone, and made my way towards Angels room. At least I'd have this moment to cherish, even if he wasn't here.

I stepped into her room to find her cot empty and surrounded by darkness. It was pretty early so it was still a little dark out, but where could they possibly be. Now I really was feeling down. It was Christmas and I was on my own.

I yawned as I shuffled myself down the stairs, no pep in my step like before. I wanted so bad to turn around and get straight back into bed. Each year I spent Christmas Day either in bed or at Avery's, trying to drown my sorrows of my depressing family life from a child. I was extremely tempted to do the same.

Instead, though, I made my way to the lounge and lay down on the sofa. The room was pitch black, silent and, again, depressing.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!"

I jumped up, almost falling headfirst over the coffee table as Bax came into the room, yelling at top volume. My heart plummeted into my stomach at fright.

"Whats happening? I thought you had took Angel out or something?" That was literally the only explanation I had for the lack of life in the house.

"No baby, Merry Christmas. I love you so much, and I know each year this is extremely hard for you but this year it won't be. I intend to make your Christmas perfect." He's holding my face in his huge hands, cradling me.

Before I can speak back he's rested his lips on top of mine, giving them a slow caress. He tastes sweet like cinnamon and my tongue darts out for a much more needed taste. I hadn't realised I'd moaned until a growl rumbled from his chest in response and I realised it was me not him. But, fuck, did he make me feel things I hadn't before.

"Now, our daughter has so many presents to open and she can't wait for her mommy to see." He pulls me towards the Christmas tree, turns the festive lights on and gestures for me to sit still as he leaves the room. I sit in anticipation, excited and thrilled, as I wait.

When he returns no less than thirty seconds later, he brings Angel through in an actual Angel dress and headband, covered in white and silver glitter. She looks so cute I can't wait to have a morning munch on her. "Oh my! You look so beautiful! Did your daddy do this?" He passes her over to me as he sits beside me with a huge Cheshire grin on his face.

She swears the same little smirk, giggling and wriggling in my arms. "Oh baby, your daddy is so perfect isn't he?" Her smile tells me she agrees as I wrap her up against me. I've been wanting this cuddle since I woke up.

"Perfect, huh?" He's rubbing the stubble on his chin - which makes him look much more edible than usual - as he playfully smirks at me.

I look over Angels shoulder as I reply. "You have no clue just how much." The biting my lip action wasn't intended, yet it happened anyway. And I see as lust and hunger take over the way his eyes darken and the way his face softens into love. But he has no idea how much I really want him right now.

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