Unknowingly Halal (lawful)

36. In Paris

Adiba's POV

"Happy birthday meri jaan" I whispers and snuggle my face in her small blankets and tried to inhale her baby fragrance which I never got. closing my eyes I felt a lone tear escape my eyes.

I get out of bed early in the morning before sunrise. I shower and got dress before doing wazu. I did my Namaz and prayed for my Inaaya's happiness and her health.

Getting out of the room after wearing my coat I walk toward the twins' room. I peek inside and saw them sleeping with their dad. Last night twins pleaded sarmad to sleep with them which he also wanted as he missed the twins so much. Closing the door slowly I walk out of the house.

"Everything is ready," the driver said I nodded and open the car and sat inside. The driver drove to the closest mosque.

Reaching there I got out of the car and took out a few plastic bags while the driver follows me with remaining bags. I saw a few people there probably waiting for me. I walk toward them. They smile as they saw me.

I distributed plastic bags to them which contains few clothes sweets and money.

"May Allah always keep you happy dear and gives you all the happiness you deserve" old women bless me while others mumble Ameen while smiling at me.

"Please pray for my daughter's happiness and her healthy life" I requested them like always. They give me sympathy looks and smile. They could see in my eyes that my daughter wasn't with me that's why I came here every year and ask them to pray for her. I turn around and walk away from there after I was done.

"You can go home. I'll come"
"But mam sir will...."

"please jasper" I pleaded he sigh. Nodding his head he went away.

I always came here to distribute in my daughter's name. This day I miss her and regrets my actions more than any other days. I had everything in my life today but that peace I always wanted was not there. The two crying faces never erase from my mind. They still haunt me. I tried everything to forget them but as if my heart didn't want to forget them.

I kept walking on the street in my thoughts remembering the day when Inaaya came into this world. At first, I didn't want to be happy that day, I always make myself convinced that I didn't have to do anything with that child but that time I never thought, when I give birth to inaaya that day would be a the happiest day for me. As the days went on and inaaya grown inside me I started feeling that motherly feelings. That day i birth inaaya I become a mother. And for me, that day would be always special. No matter what, no matter where we all, Inaaya would be always mine and Sameer's flesh and blood and for us, she would always be our part and our love. Our daughter. Our Inaaya.

A tear escapes my eyes. I took a deep breath and sat on the bench. I was lost in my thought when I heard

"You know sometimes I really hate that bastard to the extent to kill him" I look my right side to find sarmad looking ahead of us. "After all this. After all, I did. You still can't forget him" he looks at me with hurt in his eyes. I look away.

"I was just missing my daughter, sarmad" I tried to convince him. I felt his hand on my hand.

"You know I never stop you from loving your daughter and missing her. I just can't bear you missing your ex-husband because of whom you're bearing all this. Adiba... I can't see you in pain. You all I have" he said. a sob escape my mouth. He pulled me in a hug.

"Sarmad I love you and I'm sorry for causing you pain but I can't forget them. I can't forgive myself for betraying and breaking his heart brutally. I can't forget that one of my biggest part is still with him. My daughter" he pulled back and cupped my face.