Chapter 31: A Welcomed Change

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Today I have the morning off from training because it's time for my monthly visit to psychiatry. I always got super nervous, but this time Cherry is accompanying me. As normal I walked in and Dr.Lee was sitting behind her desk. I sat across from her and waited. I never talked first, never knew where to start. She then starts the question and answer process. I always just answer what comes to my mind first, if I think too hard, I'll try and figure out whether it makes it sound like I'm getting better or worse and then adjust my answer. So for this, I try not to think. 30 minutes later and we're done.

"Iris, I don't think you need autism medication anymore. I think you know how to handle that on your own, with the help of your soulmates. I also think I can lower your depression and anxiety medication. I would like to start working you off of those. Is that okay with you?" Dr. Lee states

I freeze. I'm getting better, and not just slightly. I've made a big enough difference that a medical professional is willing to not only take away a medication, but lower two others. This would leave only my insomnia medication, if we successfully work me off the others. I smiled wide and practically shouted


"Yes Iris. You have made so many improvements since the trial. You no longer hide your mental illness, you fight it everyday. You're not letting the monsters control you, you're open with your soulmates, and I see you striving without medication. While yes your medication could always help you, you might prefer life without it. You might enjoy coping with it without medication, some people find it very empowering."

"Then yes, I'd like to try."

"I'm glad. Just one thing to note. With us decreasing the anxiety and depression meds, you might find it harder to handle your anxiety depression. It might feel like you're getting worse at times, but you will need to learn little by little how to cope with and handle your anxiety and depression without medication. And if you change your mind and want to stay on medication, you just have to tell me and we will do that. Now I just want you to remember that just because something gets hard, that doesn't mean its the end. Now, I believe you have some news to share with your soulmates, correct?"

"Yes ma'am. Thank you Dr. Lee! I'll email you if I need anything, but if not I'll see you in a month!"

I rush out of the room practically knocking Cherry over, before excitedly recapping what was happening. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to tell the boys, especially Mr. mental health.

"That's great, Iris! Let's get back to the company so you can tell the boys. I'll call Sejin, to make sure they're not on live or anything, so you can just run right into them."

She makes her calls and gives me the all clear that when we get there I could run straight into them. But first I had to make it through the 30 minute road trip back to the company. I look out the window as my "kpop favorites" playlist plays. This playlist basically includes every group I listen to, girl groups, boy groups, and soloists. I looked out the window, and as cliche as it sounds, felt like I was in a dream. Everything was going right. I was finally at a point where a medical professional believed in me enough to help me get off of medication. I've always felt that being on such high doses of medication took away from me. I felt like it kinda numbed me from the world. I never wanted to rely on medication, but that's kinda what happened. For some reason once the doctor learned of the fact that I had been highly suicidal in the past, they always wanted to raise my medication to keep me from going back to that place. So now I am on incredibly high medication, that has to be monitored. I was always worried I would get addicted to the medication, the numbness. But apparently I'm weird, I got sick of it. I wanted to get rid of it, and now I could start working toward that goal.

We rolled into the parking garage and as soon as the car came to a complete stop my seat belt was off and I was running full speed ahead. The elevator doors gilde open and I hoped on with Cherry beside me heading up. The doors opened and once again I was running full speed ahead. I turn a few corners, find the BTS practice room, throw open the doors and run full speed at an unsuspecting Yoongi, who probably still hasn't registered that I'm even here. I jump into him, and he surprisingly stabilized himself. He then attempts to calm me down but I just can't seem to get the words out. I'm jumping up and down, with him in my embrace. I'm essentially fangirling because I am so excited. It's finally hit me that I'm getting better. Yoongi picks me up so that I stop jumping and asks

"What's got you so excited, cupcake?"

I smile wide and respond

"My Psychiatrist is taking me off my autism medication and decreasing both my anxiety and depression medication. She wants me to work down the medications till I'm not on them anymore leaving me with only my insomnia medication!"

 She wants me to work down the medications till I'm not on them anymore leaving me with only my insomnia medication!"

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(A/N:How I imagine his reaction)

As soon as the words left my mouth Yoongi started crying. And no they weren't sad tears. They were a mixture of happy and proud tears. He set me on my feet before hugging me. Soon enough the rest of my soulmates were hugging me as well. Reminding me of the first group hug we had in the van back in America. The one that helped end a panic attack, but this one. This one was one that radiated strength. A strength in me. When we all separated Cherry spoke up

"The only downside to this is that her anxiety and depression might appear to get worse, she's going to have to learn how to handle and cope with it. But Iris, you have us. So please don't forget to lean on us."

I smile. I look around the room and know that with my seven soulmates and best friend, I will make it thru this. I will learn how to live without medication. It's going to be hard, and there might be setbacks but I know I can face them all, cause I'll never walk alone.

A/N: Not gonna lie, I'm in love with this chapter.  Thank you all so much for reading.  I've figured out how I want the story to end, but I have to figure out how to get there. I also have a great idea for a bonus chapter, that I'm so excited for. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up that its looking like this will have 10-30 chapters left depending on how side tracked I get. And any suggestions for what songs, you want to be done for Iris' career. I was thinking maybe aleXa and IU? What do you think? Also what is a good fandom name for Iris' fans? cause I have no clue. 

Also I'm going to start adding chapter titles. Should I go back and add chapter titles to previous chapters?

Also my ENGL 1301 class has officially caused me to breakdown crying so theres that. gotta love college. Please comment and vote to let me know what you think! I purple you guys!

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