33. Day Thirteen

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It was 2 AM and I couldn't sleep.

My mind kept going back to the kiss; to his hands around my waist; to how much I loved the way his hands felt around my waist.

********

The passion when our lips touched was all consuming. Once he kissed me, I never wanted him to stop kissing me, and I'm sure that had been his plan all along. His lips moved with mine so perfectly, as if they were two puzzle pieces made to fit with each other; his tongue dominated all of my senses, expressing stuff that words couldn't.

I'd thought I could resist him but who was I kidding? When his hand curled around my hair, and he pulled my body close to him, I just wanted to surrender. Admit defeat to this relentless man who knew exactly how to drive me crazy.

But, my sanity returned when we parted for a second and oxygen finally returned to my brain.

We were breathing heavily, and the world was spinning, but when I saw him lean in for another kiss, I put my hands on his chest and gently pushed him away. He stopped immediately, but didn't completely let go of me.

"I can't Maddox, we can't." I muttered breathlessly, barely aware of what I was actually saying.

"Why not?" His voice was stubborn, defiant, demanding an answer; an answer I didn't actually have.

I took a deep sigh and pulled away from him completely, "I-I can't think like this."

"So, don't think." His answer was so simple it made me groan in despair. If only it was that easy for me.

"Maddox, I can't. I-I...." I said again and buried my face in my hands.

When I spoke, he moved farther away from me, giving me space. Then he gently pat my head a few times and sighed.

"I'm sorry. I know I said I'd give you time but when you started avoiding me I just, well, clearly didn't handle it well." He scratched the back of his head, a sorrowful expression on his face.

Instantly, conflicting emotions swirled through me, and I felt bad for avoiding him in the first place instead of talking like two human beings should. I didn't want him to ever make that kind of face, and I hated the fact that I was the one making him look like that.

Just as I'd started lifting one shaky hand to reach for him, he closed his eyes, and turned away. "I'm really sorry, I'll go cool off," he choked out, pain evident in his voice. He took a few quick steps and within seconds he was in his room.

I leaned against the wall for a few moments, trying to catch my breath, "Damn it." I hated myself with a fiery passion.

********

When I woke up, groggy from lack of sleep, the first thing I did - just like on most mornings - was to check my email. Only this time, unlike other mornings, there actually was a message waiting for me in my school email's inbox.

Frowning, I opened the message, and my eyes widened as I read through the content.

They were looking for volunteers that would help out at hospitals with testing. Apparently a lot of medical personnel, particularly nurses, had gotten sick themselves and they were heavily understaffed. In return, students were promised credits and priority at the hospital we'd volunteer in once we can apply for an internship after medical school.

I bit down on my lip, pondering over what I should do for a while. Being in a hospital during a pandemic was obviously risky — not to mention the fact that they were only looking for volunteers because the staff had been infected.

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