Match Made in Quarantine

35. Day Seventeen

My last day passed in a haze. 

I'd fallen into a routine at the hospital but never got used to the chaos surrounding me. The thing that kept me going through the day was the thought that Maddox was waiting for me at home.

After last night, it felt like all the inhibitions I'd had were broken. The dam that contained my feelings was annihilated. The logical side of my brain that kept my mind ruling over my heart had slowly been chipped away. My heart had free reign.

I would be lying if I said that my fear was gone, that someone waved a magic wand over my head and made all the negativity disappear. This wasn't a fairy tale, this was real life, and I was still scared. Afraid that he would truly change his mind about me once this was over and my heart would break. Scared that I would end up being the one that loves more in this hypothetical relationship. And most of all, terrified of how strong my feelings were becoming.

Among that, however, there was hope, and trust, and love, and my God, they were so much stronger than fear.

There hadn't been a single day since I was twelve that I truly relied on someone. People died, or left and I would be alone in this world. Oddly enough, I was okay with that; I'd learned to enjoy my solitude. Being alone meant no one could hurt you. Being alone meant, I would lose less pieces of myself along the way.

But, ever since I started seeing Maddox for who he truly was, I found myself thinking that maybe I didn't want to be alone after all. Maybe relying on someone else wasn't such a bad thing. That maybe we needed people. It seemed like a miracle to me, how much one simple hug could settle a worn soul. How beautiful it truly is to hear someone else's heartbeat against your own.

Almost as if we needed others' warmth to reaffirm our own.

That thought went against everything I'd built for myself; the life I'd planned out so meticulously. So, I fought against it with all my might; rebelled while screaming and kicking and fighting against this ridiculous notion that I needed someone else; wanted someone else.

But, he was persistent. He came at me like a wrecking ball, tearing down the walls to my castle of solitude. Despite our differences, I couldn't help but think that only Maddox could do that. Even though I never believed in the ridiculous notion of the one, deep within I couldn't help but think that maybe he was the one for me.

And I was just so tired of resisting him.

Even if I had one day with him, I'd take it. Even if he changed his mind, I'd bear it. Just like Luna said, it would hurt either way, so at least I should take advantage of the time I had and make memories that would last a lifetime.

Ah, I never knew I was such a gross romantic.

********

At the end of the day, I was exhausted. The last few days had taken its toll on me and I barely managed to drag myself home. When I gripped the door handle, my heartbeat started hammering in my chest in expectation of the man that waited on the other side.

I stepped into the apartment, and just like every other day, Maddox jumped off from the couch and walked toward me, standing just a few feet away from the door.

Without saying a word, he spread his arms and smiled at me. My lip quivered before I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tightly. His arms enveloped me like warm sunshine after. terrible storm, and the feeling of comfort and belonging spread through my body.

"Welcome home," he whispered into my ear and for some reason tears started spilling down my cheeks.

Maybe it was how nice it felt to hear those words, or the relief that I was home. Maybe it was how loved I felt in his embrace. Emotions flooded through my body, feelings that could no longer be suppressed.