In which I fall in love with my brother's best friend.
*****
"Don't pretend like you don't feel anything." His voice is low, sending shivers down my spine.
"What do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I mean."
"I don't know what you're talking about...
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Once we get inside my house, I storm into my room, Vaughn trailing behind me. He grabs my arm and whirls me around.
"Let go of me," I say firmly, pulling my arm away from him. "Why are you doing this to me, Vaughn? Why didn't you just leave me if we can't be together again? Why are you still here?"
His jaw tightens as he watches me, pain reflecting in his eyes. "Because I can't leave you. I don't want to."
I stare at him in disbelief. "But you pretended like I didn't even exist." I hate that my voice sounds so broken and how shaking it is, but there's nothing I can do about that. "Did you know how I feel every time I waited for you to come home? I was so worried about you, I couldn't even sleep until you came back. Even though when you did, you didn't even want to look at me." Now my sobs break. I can't hold it anymore.
"You are hiding something from me, and I know what it is," I continue. "I know you still love her. You're looking for her. I can see it in your eyes, Vaughn. How desperate you are to find her. How angry you are that you can't find her." A tear falls to my cheek, followed by another. And another. I just let it go. All the feelings I've been burying deep down in my heart are now poured out.
Vaughn stares at me as if he's in the same pain. But he doesn't say any word, still listening to me.
"I already sensed it even before I decided to be with you, Vaughn. But then--" I choke in tears. "You made me feel like I was wrong. Like we were real. Like you loved me too."
He looks into my eyes, and my breath catches in my throat as I see the sadness in his eyes. I've never seen him so vulnerable. He opens his arms, as if asking me to run into him now. "Come here," he whispers.
Another sob breaks from me, and I turn around instead. I choose not to look at him, because I'm afraid that it will make me fall again. Deeper.
But then, I feel his warmth seep through my skin as he hugs me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his cheek close to mine. "On that, you are wrong, Melanie," he says, his voice so soft in my ear. His hand reaches the pearl necklace on my neck that I've always worn since he gave it to me. "I meant what I said when I gave you this. You are my present. You are my future. You are my strength, Mel. You've always been so. I always know that I can get through this, with you by my side." He plasters a soft kiss on my cheek, and my body shudders.
"Look at me," he begs, but I don't budge, afraid to do so. "Goddammit, Mel. Just look at me." Now, his voice is barely a whisper.
Slowly, he turns me around to face him, and my heart freezes in place when I see that his eyes are glistening with tears.
"What do you see?" he rasps. "Do you still think that my feelings for you aren't real? That I don't love you?" His voice is shaking.
I shake my head, my lips trembling. There is only truth and honesty that I find in those broken ambers.
