Love Is...

20. A Mess

CHAPTER - 20

LOVE IS... A MESS

"Someone who really loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you."

Day - 8

My mind had always been a curious one. Not having answers to something had always managed to make me restless. I could never understand whether to categorize this as a bad trait or a good quality. But as the Sunday night passed, proving to be a sleepless one for me and as I got the answer to one of the questions that had been swimming in my head the entire day, I concluded that it was a bad trait... a very bad one.

"He is so annoying, unbearable, stupid, way too weird and, a huge pervert," I reminded myself of all his varied flaws. "He is seriously good for nothing. He is the living definition of lethargic, so opposite of me." I continued to rant in misery, staring at myself in the mirror while I tried to get ready for the day ahead. With shaking hands, I secured a pin in my hair to tighten my bun and fix the small hair tightly. My thoughts had been wandering to Ashton and I had no control over them. I was in a state of misery and self pity. "He doesn't even shave, for God's sake!" I cried, covering my face with my hands as I couldn't face myself post the awful realization. I peeked from between my fingers and slowly, uncovered my face. "How can I like him?" I asked myself, horrified at the realization of liking Ashton.

My skin looked dull and pale as all the color had been drained off in complete horror. The lack of sleep had resulted in making my eyes look dull and baggy. The dark circles seemed to have darken some more. A sigh escaped my lips as my attempts of making myself look even slightly presentable proved to be futile. Weren't girls who had a crush on someone supposed to look pretty and glow with happiness? Apparently, not me. I looked far from pretty and there was absolutely no 'glow' in my appearance.

"How can I like him?" I muttered, disgusted at myself for even feeling this sort of thing towards none other than Ashton. I was supposed to make him fall in love with someone, and here I was falling for his not-so-charming and arrogant personality. No, it wasn't love. I had long forgotten about the basics of love and I didn't believe in it now. One word that could be described to explain my new found feelings for Ashton Parker, at the moment, was a crush; a really stupid and immature one at that.

I was quick to blame it all on the kiss; the kiss that had been haunting me since it took place in that dreadful moment. That stupid, unpredictable, and hot kiss.

With a dry throat, stiff shoulders, a churned stomach, and a heart pounding way too loudly, I dragged my feet towards Ashton's apartment. This time I decided to walk my way towards his place. This little decision of mine gave me good twenty minutes to curse myself some more and delay the impending meeting as much as possible.

When I reached Ashton's building, I clutched my bag's straps tighter and wondered if my feelings were obvious from my behavior or worse, my face. This thought alone made me stop in my tracks and curse some more. Ashton was rubbing off on me!

I turned to my right and stared at my reflection on the black tinted car parked right there. I looked the same as I did yesterday. In fact, I looked worse. I didn't look like someone who had a crush on her colleague. In fact, I looked like I had just been bankrupted. A little sigh in relief escaped my lips, but that soon changed to a loud gasp when the window that was playing the role of my mirror a few seconds ago, was rolled down. Embarrassed, I uttered, "Sorry!"

My apology was answered with a familiar laugh and I looked at him in surprise. "Don't worry, Liana. You look beautiful, as always," Dylan complimented with a cheeky grin on his face which made me blush.