Why We Broke Up || YeonBin

Letter #16

There was a power outage tonight at the manor and it lasted for a little over an hour because something broke and it affected the line of currents.

And I’m saying this because it reminded me of that night in your apartment just a few weeks before your birthday last year when the electricity went out too.

I was helping you pick what designs you should make in your next project I think, and we were there in the living room with a couple of tossed magazines and sketch pads scattered around the floor.

You were wearing this yellow hoodie I own that was a little big on me so it was kind of engulfing you each time you wore it but you claimed it to be comfortable so I let you. And you absolutely look adorable in it anyway so I guess it benefited us both.

You had your comfort and I had my eye candy. A win-win situation I believe.

So you were wearing that and you were seated on the carpet in front of the coffee table while I sat behind you. I purposely sat there by the way, so I could squish you when I felt like it and yes, I was just spurting out bullshits to reason out when you told me to move because why would I want to sit away when I could literally have you in my arms as you worked?

But then after quite a while of being engrossed to your sketches, the power went off which forced us to stop since we couldn’t see shits in the dark.

I think it was you who stood up first, complaining about the generator taking too long to work and how inconvenient it was to have happened that night because you were feeling productive and who knows when you would feel that surge of energy again?

I also stood up then to follow you because your voice was starting to fade out. I was depending solely on my memory to navigate my way through the dark and into the kitchen where I guessed you went off to in search of candles or emergency lights.

And then I was sure I reached my destination when I abruptly turned around, my arms flailing in the air as my guide somehow as to not trip or bump into a wall, but then I heard a screech.

Turned out I accidentally hit you in the forehead so you hit me back and I laughed because you were whining like a child while you blindly tried to get back at me repeatedly.

We settled that incident with an apology and a hug and then I went to help you search for the flashlights which we then found resting on the countertop a few minutes and bumping later.

When you had finally turned that on and placed it on the dining table, that was when I got to see your pretty face again. And I didn’t know if it had something to do with the dimly lighting or you were just really, really gorgeous but I found myself staring at you.

You were standing beside the table under the darkness of the room with only the guide of the flashlight illuminating a little of your features but I could figure out you were smiling.

Right at me.

And I remember myself accepting just how damned I am because, holy shit Choi Yeonjun, I love you so much.

“Hi,” you let that out. A bit breathless like you didn’t want to interrupt the silence and I replied back with a simple “Hello,” while observing the way your eyes kept on trying to devour the so-little source of light we had in the kitchen. Not knowing that you didn’t have to, because your eyes had always been the brightest anyway and I would never get tired of looking at them.

I approached you then, silent steps walking my way towards where you were standing and the moment I did, I pulled you in.

My arm circling around your waist as you tilted your head slightly to the side—your gaze curious and asking what I was doing without having the need to speak. And so I answered with a nudge to grab your hand and placed the other one on my shoulder.

I grinned at you like a lovesick fool, assuming that you understood what I was implying when you exasperatedly sneered and shook your head because of my silliness.

“You want to slow dance with me? Right now? In the dark?” you questioned in disbelief but I am positive you were smiling then because I can still picture the curve in both corners of your mouth from that moment.

I nodded my head; slowly and certain, before placing a quick peck on your forehead.

“We don’t even have music though.” You spoke again. A bite-less reason because you weren’t pulling away and I had you in my arms with your hand in mine and I couldn’t ask for anything more to make that moment perfect.

Even though it might look like a low-budget remake of those elegantly dressed-up slow dance scenes that took place in fancy parties we see in movies, for me it was more than enough.

Because I was with you.

And I don’t want to slow dance with anyone else in the dark but you.

“I’ll sing.” I whispered in your ear and then you looked up at me again and you were biting your lip as you nodded like you were trying to prevent your smile from showing.

But you failed. Miserably.

You failed because you grinned so wide when I began to sway us from side to side. Unhurried, deliberate, and without rhythm like we had all the time in the world because darling, we did.

We had all the time in the world but somehow it still wasn’t enough for me because I just wanted to be with you for more and more.

I could’ve sworn that night was wondrous and magical because I was dancing with you while singing your favourite song and God, Yeon-ah, you were breath-taking and I was just so in love and I know you were too when you put your head on my chest, eyes closed and sighed in content.

“This is nice.” You mumbled and my heart was so full with my love for you.

Baby, I miss that.

I miss you.