I'm a Mermaid, Not a Merman

10

Danny looked toward the mall, with a feeling of revulsion in his stomach. Revulsion. Revulsion at all... all the people in there. The mall was further north from their house, so it was closer to Aspen Ridge High School, but there could still be people coming here from his high school South Bend.

Was that something that people his age did? Going to the mall? He felt like he'd heard people at school talk about doing that, but was that actually real, or was that just pop culture getting in his head?

"It'll be alright Danny," Sammy reassured him as she closed her car door.

He wasn't sure it would. If his experience swimming with his new friends had been an amazing feeling of liberation, this was a feeling of being mentally bound, chained to a wall by his fear.

"I'm afraid Mom," he said. "I haven't been out in public around this many strangers in a while. I'm afraid of people staring at me. I'm wearing a bra now, and it'll be more obvious."

He spoke honestly. It was a bit calming to him, after so much lying. It made him feel a bit like himself before all this. But that wasn't true either. He was lying to himself. Even before he'd devised this elaborate scheme, he had kept hidden away his interest in mermaids.

Mom squeezed his shoulder. "Don't worry sweetie. It'll be alright."

"What if someone from school recognizes me?"

"Not much you can do about that," Sammy said.

Mom turned to face him, putting both of her hands on his shoulders. "Danny, are you sure about this? I can order a suit for you online if you really want me to."

Danny shook his head. "N-no. I... I've got to get better at dealing with this."

"Dealing with this healthily doesn't mean you have to force yourself to go through embarrassing situations," Mom said. "It doesn't make you weak, or anything like that if you avoid difficult situations."

He gave his Mom a brief hug, feeling a bit more confident.

"I can do it Mom," he said. "And... thanks for supporting me."

"Of course sweetie," she said. "Let's get moving then."

He followed Mom and Sammy into the mall, passing through crowds of people. He forced himself not to freak out. Just put one foot in front of the other, like the one song from that Christmas special.

The first thing they did was get Danny some bras more adjusted to his size. He could tell a difference trying them on. It felt a lot more snug.

After that, they went into a typical clothing store so that Sammy could get some new clothes. Although Danny may have looked like a girl, and acted like a girl at times, in this setting, he still felt very much like himself. He waited in boredom as Mom and Sammy looked through clothes.

He just... he just couldn't comprehend girls and guys that could spend hours standing in a store before they bought anything. He understood why they'd like to obsess over fashion, but he didn't get why it took so long.

Finally, Mom and Sammy started walking to the checkout, and Danny sighed in relief. They joined the line, and more waiting began.

One thing Danny did like about these stores was the checkout line usually had a bunch of candy and knick knacks to buy arranged on either side. It was obviously meant to leech a bit more out of shoppers, but for him, it was a slight distraction from is boredom.

As they traveled through the line, he passed a bag of chocolate dipped pretzels.

Danny bent down to look at them. "Someday you will be mine chocolate pretzels," he whispered.