Chapter 9: Blue

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Listen to my heartbeat, it calls whenever it wants to

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Listen to my heartbeat, it calls whenever it wants to. Because within this pitch black darkness, you are shining so brightly –Save Me (BTS)

A heart wasn't beating.

A heart who used to be lively and filled with love, was now running out of beat.

But because someone saved it. Someone wanted to give it another life.

Because he loves her

_ _ _

One year later

"Through this Love Yourself tour, I'm finding how to love myself. I didn't know anything about how to love myself."

"You guys taught me through your eyes, through your love, through your tweets, through your letters, through your everything."

"You guys taught me and inspired me how to love myself."

"What is loving myself? What is loving yourself? I don't know. Who can define their own method and way of loving myself?"

"It's our mission –It's our mission to find, and to define our way to love ourselves. Its never intended, but it feels like I'm using you guys to love myself. So, I'm going to say one thing...."

"Please use me. Please use BTS to love yourself. Because you guys taught me how to love myself. Everyday"

RM said throughout the whole stadium in Bangkok, Thailand. He shouted as if he wants us to be aware that we are not alone in our journey.

You were there. You heard every word he said. You heard it, and this time it was now the real voice of Rm, of BTS.

You traveled all the way from Hongkong to Bangkok –to hear them once again.

To feel that they were real.

_ _ _

A year had already passed, since the white lonely and the scary darkness world was the only thing you see, and feel.

Stepping out of those lonely and scary colors, was a hard. It takes courage and full cooperation of yourself to help yourself.

People say, mental health problems doesn't really exists., we just make reasons and we are just the one making it. But it wasn't real.

Everything is real.

People are deceived by false information. We are deceived that "it was just ok"

But as long as they insist that "it was just ok" –the more we become not "ok"

"it was just ok" won't helps us.

They aren't the answers to our problems.

_ _ _

"Thank you for staying by my side" You said to Jackson, with a smile –a real smile.

"Anything for you, princess" He stated, as he holds your hands and walk towards a door.

"W—wait. What are we doing here?"

"We got backstage pass. It's a gift for you." He said.

The both of you approached the door that says "Artist's Lounge Area"

The same room, you have walked inside before –but this time it was the real one.

As you two stepped inside the room. A beautiful boquet of blue roses were placed in the hands of a man who were waiting for you to come inside.

"Hi, this is for you"

Jimin handed you the beautiful roses –the same roses you saw in the garden before.

"This is my sister--" Jackson said towards the seven men who were looking towards you.

"Y/n."

"Y/n Wang, right?" Rm stated, and cutting Jackson's word.

His dimples showing as he smiles –and this time it was a real smile.

A smile that gives you a comfort and assurance that you're loved and will be loved.

His hands tapping the empty seats on the couch beside him and signaling the two of you to seat on it.

The whole moment feels like a dream—a real dream.

This is a kind of moment you wouldn't want to forget, a moment of comfort and happiness.

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